Kerri The Incredible Shrinking Woman!

To Mrs Anon

2005-08-23T10:35:00.000+10:00

I can't believe that I'm getting abuse from someone I don't even know. Mrs Anon, this is NOT your space to leave nasty comments. Your comments lately have gotten more and more harsh, all of my friends who read my blog, say to me: "Wow that Mrs Anon is a bit harsh isn't she!" But you know what? I'm really sick of reading your two bobs worth on how YOU think MY life is going...

I went out and had dinner for the first time in months. Big deal. That doesn't mean that I've given up! In fact, on Saturday I checked on the scales - I have lost 0.5kg!! I'm very proud of myself... and I didn't expect to see anything lost...

At the moment, I'm a bit down and depressed, and going through a few personal struggles... if only you all knew what was going on, but yeah this is really not the place to talk about it. I'm okay though... just have a few things bugging me.

xK

Promo...

2005-08-18T22:49:00.000+10:00

Ok a few people have asked for the details for Illusions so here they are. I don't know how old this ad is... I found it on the net, and you'll see that the price of the 3 course meal has changed. And that its open for dinner not just lunch... But go ahead, go along and check it out - you won't be disappointed!!

ILLUSIONS RESTAURANT Open for lunch Wednesday to Friday from 12.00pm Illusions Restaurant is open to the public and offers great value. Sample the great cuisine and recipes of the rising stars and chefs of the future… at a fraction of the price! • Menu changes weekly • Fully licensed restaurant and bar • Three course meal only $12.50 For reservations please contact Hospitality Training Association on 07 3872 4200 Illusions Restaurant is located at: Level 1, K-Tower, 269 Wickham St (cnr Ballow St) Fortitude Valley. Pre Orders are welcome and can be faxed to 07 3852 2234

Illusions

2005-08-18T22:07:00.000+10:00

Tonight Raechel (Ra for short) and I went out to Illusions. Its a trainee restaurant in the valley, K Tower. Its not listed in the yellow pages because its a trainee restaurant, but I can get the number for all those interested, you have to book. Its run by the Hospitality Training Association so all of the meals are really cheap. The staff there were so nice and it was a nice relaxed atmosphere. 3 course meal is $15.00 and even the drinks were really cheap. All up it came to $21 for me - what a cheap night out!!!

For my entree I had a goat cheese souffle with a really nice spinach and walnut salad... Main, with a glass of chardonnay, was a salmon fillet wrapped in bacon and it had a pesto sauce in the middle, it was garnished with a pea risotto... YUM! and then for dessert I had a chocolate tart with this really nice coffee sauce drizzled over the top of it.

I don't eat out very often and I tried to pick the least fatty thing on the menu - its a set menu all the time... this was a special treat for me. Ra is one of my friends from school in Hervey Bay, she now lives in Brisbane, and I never see her so it was good to catch up with her and find out all of the goss thats been happening with her.

A beautiful night was topped off with a sad event at the Brunswick St Train station as we were on our way home. We were meant to go to platform 2 but platform 1 and 2 were closed off... we didn't think anything of it and then headed to platform 4... As we were coming down the ramp, there was this girl running up, in tears, and obvious shock, covering her mouth... I looked at her quizzically and asked her what happened. She said that a guy threw himself infront of a train... I asked if she was ok and she said that it just hit too close to home for her - a friend of hers had committed suicide a few months ago. I didn't ask anymore questions. When I got down to platform 4 with Ra, we could see over at platform 1 and 2, where there was a train with its lights on, stopped... Police, Ambos and Fireys around everywhere... kinda like a car accident though - I didn't want to look but I kept looking... the cops were interviewing some guy who must have either seen it or been this guys friend. :( Very spooky - Ra said that if we had of been a few minutes earlier we could have been standing on that very platform where it happened and seen the guy jump :S Makes me do the "Sliding Doors" thing..

Do you ever wonder that if you changed just ONE of the things you did, that your future would end up different? Thank god we weren't at the platform when the guy jumped... :(

Ok off to work I go

2005-08-15T09:50:00.000+10:00

Enough playing on the puter. Making coffee and returning to desk now. Ciao ;)

2005-08-15T09:49:00.000+10:00

Which Rock Chick Are You?

What a weekend!!!

2005-08-15T08:14:00.000+10:00

Friday night was work drinks on the balcony of Mondial - they have a big beautiful balcony that overlooks the city, its beautiful! The social club put on the work drinks - I've never worked for a company which does that. It was kinda boring for me though because I didn't know anyone and everyone kept to their own little groups. I'm sure as I get to know everyone it will be a little more interesting for me... so I didn't stay long. There was a few speeches, and people winning the raffle, so I left after that.

Saturday night I went into the valley and met Richard at the Beat. I met a lot of interesting people while sitting at the bar by myself, waiting for Studmuffin. I don't normally get that sort of attention at the Beat but maybe thats because I'm always with friends, doing my own thing. It was busy again - by the time 11pm rolled around, it was so busy that you couldn't move, you had to push your way through the crowds and you couldn't even get a spot on the dancefloor, so I left by midnight. I caught the train home because there was no busses and walked from the train station home... it was pretty safe - no weirdos around at all.

Last night I went out to Paulee's with Studmuffin - Eddie and I are trying to set them up! When we got there Paulee's parents were there so it was kinda awkward. We sat round drinking coffee, and I found out Paulee's REAL AGE that he'd been keeping from us for ages. When Paulee's parents left, he brought out the bubbly and we all had a glass, then Richard had to go off to see his friends, a prior arrangement. By then Paulee and I were most pissed, and so he wanted me to stay. I did stay and we drank more and more and more hehehe we were TRASHED!!! I was worried though about getting to work today so I caught the train home, and was in bed by 11pm! :)

And now its Monday, and its back to being good and going back to my diet and exercise - as long as I am good all week, I might see some results on the scales on Saturday - and hopefully not the sort of results that make me cry!! I know, I know, I only have myself to blame!!! I'm not going to justify it to anyone - I had a good weekend, I deserve it, and now its back to being sensible and healthy.

xK

No weight Lost

2005-08-13T09:48:00.000+10:00

Ok thats it. I'm getting rid of the Optifast and going to the healthy food and exercise way. I'm not wasting my money on Optifast anymore. It worked to budge the first few kilos and get me started, but now its just not working.

Lots of fresh fruit and vegies, grilled chicken and fish and Burgen bread. :) And 30mins of walking every day.

My 2nd week of work went really well - I'm taking calls on my own now!

xK

Here I Am!

2005-08-08T06:58:00.000+10:00

Well I survived my first week of work! I took my shakes to work and it seems EVERYONE is on a health kick or a diet of some sort. Judy is counting calories, Collette is doing the appetite suppressant spray made famous by Oprah Winfrey, Zoe is exercising and cutting out carbs, and of course I'm on the Optifast. No one really understands the technology of Optifast so everyone's saying that I should come off it and just eat healthy and increase exercise... but I am going to keep at it because I started, and I don't want to give up.

I changed my weigh-in days back to Saturday so that I have time to weigh-in and then blog. Well Saturday I didn't lose or put on any weight, so it seems that my hard work wasn't for nothing! I didn't put on any weight like the last week! That must mean my body is in limbo/plateau, so I am going to up the efforts. As well as the Optifast, I'm doing a light dinner, as I find that when I get home, I'm ravenously hungry. Lets see what the scales say on Saturday!

Tomorrow we get inducted into the gym at work, so that means that I'll have access to that whenever I want... I will definitely be making good use of it - perhaps I could go after work and do a little walking on the treadmill to start with and then really up my efforts from there. Zoe and I are going to make it fun, maybe going in our half hour lunch break. :) For those that don't know, theres a gym in the building at work, that we can use free of charge and whenever we want. I walk past the Fitness First people trying to flog off their memberships, and say "no thanks! I've got a free gym membership!!"

Work is going very well! I am learning very fast, its all self-paced learning. Judy teaches me something and only has to show me once, I write it down and then I'm able to complete things on my own which is good because we are seriously understaffed at the moment and so theres no one with any time to be inducting anyone. I'm getting to know everyone and the company and I think I'm settling in very well. I even have my own cases to look after now, my own workload. :D

Mum was here with her friend Renee on the weekend, arrived Saturday morning. We went to the city and started the day at the casino - they wanted to have a flutter on the pokies. I lost $10 on the pokies - I now hate them and vow to never put more than $5 in, no matter what I win! Then we went shopping, all over Elizabeth, Adelaide and Queen Streets. I've seen it all before and of course know all the short cuts, but for Mum and Renee its very interesting. Then we came home and played Frustration all night - I had a few drinks, couldn't resist. I have absolutely no willpower!

Sunday I stayed home and did my washing - hey it has to be done! - while Mum and Renee went to the Nursing Expo at City Hall. That was the whole reason that they came down, to get information on nursing careers as they are almost finished their nursing degree. They brought back lots of freebies - 30 pens in amongst other promotional gear!!

And now today marks a new working week. I don't have to be at work til about 9.45 - I am on the 10-6pm shift this week. If you guys don't hear from me during the week, you'll hear from me on Saturday for sure!

xK

sigh

2005-07-29T11:54:00.000+10:00

You always know when I haven't updated in a while its because I've slid off course. Yep this week I have put on 3kg! I can't believe it. Well actually I can, I stood on the scales yesterday morning and saw it for myself. I know that I haven't been very good. What happened to my motivation? Well, I usually have the shakes for breakfast and dinner at least but sometimes when I'm out I'll have something for lunch. I always try to pick Subway or Maccas where I can get the freshly made rolls. That, combined with hardly any exercise has made me put on 3kg, wiping the work I've put in over the last few weeks. I've been feeling pretty down about it... why can't I just keep a hold on the motivation? What is wrong with me? Do I have absolutely NO willpower whatsoever?

No I will not let myself get down about this. Yes I have stuffed up, quite a few times, but I can't give up on myself and my health. Today I've been good... no sneaky Maccas rolls or anything and I'm going to try really hard not to get tempted throughout the weekend too. Shakes shakes shakes!! 3kg is nothing and if I work hard enough I can get rid of that by next week's weigh in.

I'm going to the Beat tomorrow night with Eddie, to go dancing. I won't be drinking anything but water, and the dancing will be an incredibly good workout :D It'll make for a cheap night out as well as I won't be drinking anything but water.

Monday I start my new job at Mondial Assistance... and I'll be taking my shakes along to work... and ignore any cakes they might have for morning teas etc etc. I can do this - I DO have the willpower.

On the road again...

xK

2005-07-25T19:12:00.000+10:00

You are a true nature girl!

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by

Southbank

2005-07-23T16:23:00.000+10:00

Well today I went to Southbank :) I started off at the Museum with a friend and then we wandered into Southbank... I've seen these acrobat guys before - but aren't they just awesome? They are Russian and a LOT camp... but funny!

I love wandering around Southbank, theres always something to see or do. Its great exercise too. I wish I had my trainers on, would have been a lot more comfortable. My feet have blisters cos I wore my cute mary jane shoes. Looked good but felt terrible :P

Nova 106.9 Fm were there as well with a competition - if you wanted to dig in the sand, you could find a credit card with $100 on it... but you had to don speedos... no thanks :P I didn't take any photos of that though... too busy perving on the Russians!

xK

Aerobics Oz Style

2005-07-21T08:23:00.000+10:00

This morning started at 6.15am when I intended to get up early for Aerobics Oz Style. I don't have a VCR, so I had to get up early to catch the show.

Imagine me, in bright blue flannellette pajamas and slippers, trying to coordinate myself for the aerobics on the tv, half asleep, in an attempt to get a bit of exercise. I'm sure if anyone was watching, or if it were to be taped, it'd make a good entry for Australias Funniest Home Videos!!

Anyway I did get *some* exercise out of it but at the end decided to supplement it with 20 mins on the exercise bike... Wiped the dust off the seat with my butt ;)

I feel good now!!! :D Yay me for getting some exercise.. but maybe I should layby a VCR - they are very cheap at the moment. I could tape Aerobics Oz Style and then exercise anytime and not have to stumble around like a zombie!!

xK

Edit: By the way everyone, I don't mind anonymous comments... its good to have the support and feedback... So Mrs Anon, youre welcome to keep commenting on my blog and anyone else, who doesn't want to leave their name, its all good! :) I have my comments enabled so anyone can make a comment, and I mean that :)

My Progress

2005-07-20T20:54:00.000+10:00

Thanks to all you anonymous mysterious posters :) Makes me so curious. I weighed myself this morning - another kilo down!!!!!! But you know, it could have been more. I think I need to up the exercise. So thats 138kg I'm down to now :D

xK

My iPod :(

2005-07-20T10:56:00.000+10:00

Good bye iPod...

I left it on the bus!! I called Bris Transport, but theres no way it'll be turned in... its worth $499!! :( I'm very sad.... thats where I stored ALL of my music... *sigh*

I am going to save up, and buy another... I miss it :(

xK

Windsor Gossip

2005-07-19T15:48:00.000+10:00

With my 39kg challenge in mind, I set off for a walk. I went to the park in the street behind my units and power walked along. I was sitting on the swings as I took the picture on the left.

Along the river/wetlands theres a bike path, with several bridges along the way for the train. Walking along and I see two guys, in flannos and tight black jeans, drinking VB Cans and sitting on the fence. Oh gawd, I think. Please, please do not mug me. I only have my camera, my keys and my mobile phone... I held my breath as I walked past. One of the guys was sizing me up as I was walking along and said hi, and was approaching me... he asked if I had the time, and so I told him it was 3 o'clock and went on my way. I was thinking... ok if anything happens I'll bring out my kung fu!! OH yeah, thats right, I don't know any kung fu. Oh well I will have to rely on my lungs to scream for help! Anywho the guys didn't bother me... and it made me think... I am pretentious!! Just because they were drinking at 3pm on a weekday in the middle of nowhere, in FLANNOS, doesn't mean that they are serial rapists or serial killers.

I walk back home... and on the way I spot this Ford Mustang. Now I know - nothing - about cars. But isn't it pretty!! I was very sneaky taking the pic - perhaps the owner of this fine vehicle would not appreciate me taking a picture... Oh well, if youre going to spend the money and get a flash looking car like that, people are going to oooh and ahhh and wanna take pretty pictures of it.

When I got home, I took my washing off the line. The clothes line sits right in front of the porch of my neighbours. Roy who lives in unit 1 and Adrian who lives in unit 2. Every time I go downstairs to the clothes line or even walk past, I always feel obliged to have a conversation about bullshit... Roy, thank god, never says anything. My mum and I don't like him... He perves on my mother.... he even left her a note on her car once!! It was creepy. So as a result I always try to scuttle past Roy without so much as a hello. Adrian isn't too bad, but he's gotta be about 60 and only ever wants to muse over the weather. Yes, I can SEE its raining!! Yes! Its good for the farmers. I mean, hello Captain Obvious. (Am I bitter? Hmmm I am never going to last a day working with veterans if I don't lose this bitterness!) Anyway, Adrian looks at my basket of washing as I carried it up the stairs: "Oh my gawd thats a lot of washing!" to which I replied "Its called a week's worth... cya later Adrian" and then continued trundling up the stairs.

Oh, the adventures of Windsor.

xK

2005-07-19T08:47:00.000+10:00

Well today I will be doing my washing, and preparing for next Monday! Yay only a few more days to wait!! I will no longer be sitting here bored on a weekday. I'm also going for a LONG walk today, just around my neighbourhood, with my camera, and I'm going to see what weird things I can spy! I'm going exploring. :) I could be the next detective.

I think I must be the ONLY PERSON ALIVE who didn't buy Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince... but I just can't get into the books, ok?! I much prefer the movies. I prefer to read about dramatic/romantic things... chick lit... and NO not Mills and Boon - those are for old ladies on the pension, who are bored (no offense lovies). Last night I finished a book called "The World According to Mimi Smartypants" which is an online journal of someone turned into a novel for our pure enjoyment. Now Mimi had some weird posts and she was pretty outrageous. She was dubbed "better than Bridget" oooooh I actually found her online journal - I didn't think that it was real... I thought that Mimi was fictitious!!! http://smartypants.diaryland.com/ Check it out :)

My voice is a bit funny today so there'll be no singing... I know, youre so disappointed!

xK

I'm $2195.00!!!

2005-07-18T21:23:00.000+10:00

If I had a car...

2005-07-18T21:19:00.000+10:00

I found a pink template!!!!

2005-07-18T13:36:00.000+10:00

Don't you think pink is more me :)

xK

Unemployed no more!!!

2005-07-18T13:11:00.000+10:00

Yes kiddies, I got the Mondial job, the one I had an interview for last week!

Mondial Assistance are an insurer, and the job I will be doing is working in a call centre for Veterans, helping them get mobility aids installed in their home. Its a permanent position in a call centre - no more of this temping stuff - and I will start next Monday :)

Yay!!!

This week though I am a lady of leisure while I wait to start - a letter of offer has to be with me 5 days before I start, as a formality... Thank you Hallis, and thank you Mondial!! :)

xK

I suck @ Bowling!

2005-07-17T09:35:00.000+10:00

Last night I went out bowling with Matt and Clint - the lady at the bowling alley thought that Matt and I were together. The boys had this voucher thing and so they were going to get in for half price, but it was only for two people. The lady thought that Matt was being a "horrible boyfriend" by not letting me in on the deal!! ... Anyway they ended up not using their voucher and we got a special deal for three games.

The first game I didn't do too badly but the 2nd and 3rd were shockers! I always twist my wrist when I bowl - and so I get a lot of gutter balls. (This only more adds to the theory that I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body, as I'm "limp-wristed"!!) Even with the bumpers I still don't do very well! Matt was embarrassed to have the bumpers up... Clint and I weren't... they helped us win! I got 2 strikes! Yay!

After we went into the city and went to O'Malleys. I'd never been there before, its pretty cool but was very smoky. We were all pretty tired though so we didn't stay long.

Before I left, I rang Dale who was sitting at a pub in Amsterdam, having a coffee. He sounds like he's having a great time :) I wanna travel someday... just put everything in a backpack, and explore the world. Hmm one day :)

For now, I've got a 39kg challenge to do!! :)

xK

My Interview!

2005-07-14T15:17:00.000+10:00

Well I did get to my interview today! And I think it went really well. I hope I impressed them. My consultant from Hallis just told me that they have asked for reference checks, and thats always a good sign she says :) My bout of unemployment could be almost over!!! Oh Joy!!!

I am working on creating my own webpage - this blog is great but I'd really love my own website again, I've had a few in the past. Having problems with MS Frontpage though.

I'm geting better too... slowly. Still a bit sniffly... but I'm soldiering on!

xK

3 Kilos Down!!!!

2005-07-13T07:03:00.000+10:00

As soon as I opened my eyes, I got up, stripped and stepped onto the scales. I did a little happy dance when I saw the 3kg difference. Yay!!

It led me to thinking... Mr Anonymous said that I could have already lost 40kg... hmmm sounds like a challenge!!! ;) If I were to lose 1.5kg every week for 14 weeks - til the 5th of October (good milestone date, its Mums birthday and thats when Dale returns from overseas), thats 21kg lost. But I've just lost 3kg in ONE week. 3kg x 14wks= 42kg.

So my challenge to myself is this!! 39kg gone by 5th October!!!! If I complete that goal, I would've lost 57.5kg!! That'd mean I'd only have 30kg to go :P Oh my gawd its just unimaginable... *giggles* I am going to do this!!!

The Incredible Shrinking Woman Strikes Again!!!!!!!

Ps. I am still not feeling well :( I feel marginally better than the last few days but still feel all blocked up and yucky. Time for an antibiotic. Yay. I HOPE I am better by tomorrow - I have an interview at 11am!!!!!!

xK

Getting to know Kerri

2005-07-12T21:35:00.000+10:00

[x] Full Name: Kerri (not telling the rest!!)
[x] Birthdate: 9th February 1981
[x] Birthplace: Werribee, VIC
[x] Current Location: BrisVegas!
[x] Eye Color: Blue
[x] Hair Color: Sandy Blonde
[x] Righty or Lefty: Right-handed
[x] Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
[x] Innie or Outtie: Innie
-----------------DESCRIBE------------------
[x] The Clothes you wore today: Black cargo pants, jumper
[x] The shoes you wore today: My cute maryjane shoes
[x] Your fears: Spiders, Heights
-----------------WHAT IS------------------
[x] Your most overused phrase: Awww thats so cute!
[x] Your thoughts first waking up: Hmmm I MUST get up!
[x] The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Their personality, the way they hold themselves
[x] Your best physical feature: Umm... My smile? My breasts? (Not for long!)
[x] Your bedtime: Usually around 11
[x] Your most missed memory: Memories can't be missed - they are with you forever.
-----------------YOU PREFER------------------
[x] Pepsi or coke: Neither
[x] McDonald's or Burger King: Neither
[x] Single or group dates: Single... but group dates can be fun if youre not sure on the guy!
[x] Adidas or Nike: I have Nike trainers...
[x] Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
[x] Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino ;)
-------------DO YOU------------------
[x] Smoke: Until I came down with the flu I did... now I don't see the point of taking it up again
[x] Cuss: Fuck no :P
[x] Take a shower everyday: Sometimes twice
[x] Have a crush(es): Crushes are for teenagers... and *sigh* I'm no longer a teen!
[x] Do you think you've been in love?: I *know* I've been in love... twice.
[x] Want to go to college: Yes to study HR.
[x] Liked high school: Can't complain. I wish I had of studied more than perved.
[x] Want to get married: Ewww. Marriage... no thanks!
[x] Type fingers on the right keys?: Touch typist here, so yes :)
[x] Believe in yourself: All the time. To the point of conceitedness. (this wasn't my answer it was someone elses... but tis funny so I am leaving it)
[x] Get motion sickness: Maybe if on a boat, I don't know.
[x] Think you're attractive: Yes.
[x] Think you're a health freak: ROFL... me? a health freak? *giggles*
[x] Get along with your parents: More so now than ever before
[x] Like thunderstorms: Scary stuff!
[x] Play an instrument: I used to be able to play the piano...not very well. And I can play the drums, but other than that, my answer is no.
------------IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU--------------
[x] Go to the mall: Which one :P
[x] Eaten sushi: Yes
[x] Been on stage: *thinks* Yes at the Beat... I won Tug of War a few weeks ago
[x] Had sex: Guilty... ;)
[x] Been dumped: I dumped him and that was in April ;)
[x] Dumped someone: as above
[x] Masturbated: Those who say they don't, lie...
[x] Gone skating: Nope
[x] Made homemade cookies: Nope... haven't done that in years
[x] Dyed your hair: Nope
[x] Stolen anything: Nope
-------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
[x] Flown on a plane: Many times
[x] Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: I've confessed my feelings a few times, yes
[x] Cried during a Movie? (what movies?): Yes, and too many to mention!!
[x] Cried during a song? (what songs?): Wendy Matthews "The Day You Went Away" (Joshie's funeral song)
[x] Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yeah, last time I went to the Beat :P
[x] Been caught mastrubating?: Never, thank god
[x] Gotten beaten up?: Girls don't do that
[x] Been in a fight: I used to bicker with my brothers and sisters quite a bit...
----------------THE FUTURE------------------
[x] Age you hope to be married: Oh... no thanks. Pass!
[x] Number of Children: 0 (sorry Mum)
[x] Descibe your Dream Wedding: The non-existant type?
[x] How do you want to die?: Naturally.
[x] What do you want to do as a career: HR/Recruitment Consultant, Professional Dancer
[x] What country would you most like to visit?: Europe
-----------------OPPOSITE SEX------------------
[x] Best eye color: Baby blue
[x] Best hair color: Not fussy.
[x] Short or long hair: Not fussy.
[x] Best height: Taller than me.
[x] Best weight: Not fussy.
[x] Best date location: Anywhere that we can be alone.
[x] Best kiss location: As above... Or if you meant on a person... umm on the lips :)
-----------------NUMBER OF-----------------
[x] Number of people I could trust with my life: Well my family so thats at least 4
[x] Number of CDs that I own: Maybe 100.
[x] Number of piercings: 1 in each ear
[x] Number of tattoos: 0... too much of a wuss to get one :P
[x] Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: a handful of times for different things
[x] Number of scars on my body: 2
[x] Number of things in my past that I regret: I don't hold regrets - I learn and move on.
----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
[x] Wearing: Trackies and a jumper and slippers :)
[x] Drinking: Water.
[x] Thinking about: Bedtime
[x] Listening to: The cars going past on the road
---------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
[x] Cried: Nope.
[x] Worn jeans: No
[x] Met someone new online: Yes but they have been tossers
[x] Done laundry: Yes.
[x] Drove a car: No
[x] Talked on the phone: Of Course :)
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
[x] Yourself: See above answer to the same question!
[x] Your friends: My friends are my urban family
[x] Santa Claus: You mean he's not real? :P
[x] Destiny/Fate: I think I'd like to... somedays I do, somedays I don't.
[x] God: Nope.
--------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
[x] Do you ever wish you had another name?: Nope I like my name :)
[x] Who have you known the longest of your friends?: Monica or Elisha
[x] Are you close to any family member?: My mummy
[x] When have you cried the most?: I cry alot - its good to have a good bawl now and then.
[x] What's the best feeling in the world?: Love... Or...ummm... *blushes* you KNOW!
[x] Worst Feeling?: Illness... like this bloody flu that I have :(

Tomorrow

2005-07-12T17:07:00.000+10:00

Tomorrow when I step gingerly onto my scales, I KNOW I will see results. Why? Because I've hardly eaten anything because I've been sick. I haven't the energy (or lung power) to go for a walk or anything (just going to the doctor had me thinking I was going to pass out!) but I haven't been eating either.

Yay! IS this the best thing to come of having this stupid flu and chest infection?

xK

Which Johnny Depp Character am I?

2005-07-12T17:05:00.000+10:00

You Are Ed Wood From "Ed Wood."SIZE="-2" FACE="Verdana">

You definitely have your name in history, although probably not for the reason you believe. Yet you are very accepting, non-judgemental, and optimistic almost to a fault. You also have a thing for angora sweaters. How could anyone not like you?

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

Eye.Candy.

2005-07-12T15:54:00.000+10:00

You know how I was always harping on about the sexy dance show at the Beat? Well I have finally found a photo of them!!! (Thank you Queensland Pride). I don't actually know their names... but the one in the middle is the one that I'm always going on about and that Dale and I have named Ash :)

I won't be going to the Beat for a while... but good to know that these guys will still be there performing!

xK

Dangerous

2005-07-12T09:48:00.000+10:00

I nearly fainted in the shower. I thought I was getting better. Looks like I better have something to eat before I go out. The shower was good though - very refreshing - but I had to steady myself against the shower wall so that I didn't fall over. Oh please, please be well enough by Thursday!

xK

Getting better... sorta

2005-07-12T08:38:00.000+10:00

Well at least I am able to get out of bed - thats a start. And I feel that once I have a shower and wake up a little bit I will be able to brave the world to go for a little walk. I have to go and do a few errands, as well as stock up on some more tissues - how is it is possible to go through so many boxes of tissues. And it doesn't matter WHAT it says on the box about softness, they all leave your nose red and flaky at the nostrils... very attractive!

My lovely consultant from Hallis was able to reschedule the job interview til Thursday so I have today and tomorrow to get myself into working order. I hope that my red nostrils are gone by then!

I have to say though, after being cooped up in this flat for 3 days, I think I am going crazy! I haven't seen anyone - except for my lovely friend James who dropped around some soup yesterday - for three days!!!! I know that theres a real world out there somewhere!

I'm going to finish my coffee and then wander down to the shop... hopefully a walk will make me feel a whole lot better.

xK

:(

2005-07-09T19:43:00.000+10:00

I am not the best sick person, and you know that I am really sick when I sleep during the day. I watched Nell on DVD this afternoon and started to nod off about 2.30, so I went and climbed into bed - And I just woke up about 20 mins ago... I've got some cold and flu tablets and if I don't beat this flu by Monday I'm going to have a hissy fit, because Monday is my interview for that permanent position and I am NOT missing that for the world!!

xK

That stupid little frog...

2005-07-08T09:27:00.000+10:00

Tripping the Light Fantastic

2005-07-08T09:00:00.000+10:00

I know I haven't been updating as well as I should. I think thats because I know I haven't been doing as well as I set out to do. I haven't lost any weight :( but thats because I haven't put in full effort. I drank last Sunday night, and I have done no exercise. I've cheated a few times too.

Sometimes I just think, "what the hell is wrong with me" but I have to try and stop those negative thought patterns. See at least now, I am able to realise where I am going wrong - other times my destructive behaviour has just gone by without a thought. Its still a struggle - overcoming a lifetime of unhealthy habits doesn't just happen overnight and I guess thats how I know that I will come out at the end of this a slim woman! Because I am making real changes to my thinking.

This week is a new week, and I will be trying even harder. Next Wednesday I will SEE RESULTS on the scales!!! Mark my words!

Well I'm sure we've all heard the horrible news about the bombings in London :( Dale was overseas and in London a few days ago but then went off to Amsterdam so he is there, safe and happy. I couldn't sleep til I knew he was alright - I rang him on his overseas mobile number for like 30 seconds, and it only cost me 80cents :) I didn't get much goss from him, I just wanted to confirm he was okay.

The bombings in London show us that the world is a terrible place... and we cannot let these terrorists destroy us and the way we live our lives. I agree that we should carry on travelling and having fun - because life is short, and we never know what is around the corner. If I could fly and I had the money I'd be overseas tripping the light fantastic because the future is never certain, so we have to have the best quality of life that we possibly can.

Yesterday I did a day of temp work at Hutchison for Hallis... It was good, though I must admit rather boring. Money is money though! I was taking surveys for 3 Customer Care. So I was calling Australian customers about the level of quality of the 3 Care Customer Service team. The customer service team for 3 is in India and so the most common complaint I had was that the operator didn't speak English very well. Most of them were polite about it, they weren't racist, but just said that if the operator could speak better English then it would mean a more pleasant customer service experience. Myself, I'd never get a 3 phone - I am sure it is the spawn of satan, despite the cute ads during Big Brother. I'll stick with Vodafone thanks!! I was meant to go back today for another day of it but they don't need me anymore so that only means I can concentrate on a bit of cleaning up before Mum and Grandma come. This afternoon we're going to watch Bewitched in Gold Class :)

I have an interview on Monday for a permanent position so every spare minute online I'm at the website for the company researching them, and preparing a list of questions, and answers to questions they might ask. Its a good permanent position working in a call centre, within the insurance/welfare sector in Toowong, and according to my consultant at Hallis they are really keen to meet with me. The team leader was away on holidays but organised to come in on her own time especially so that they could meet with me, so I am feeling rather special and happy about it all. Wish me luck for Monday.

Well thats about all from me on this side of the tracks... I'd better get back to the cleaning :)

xK

Sunday Funday!

2005-07-04T09:31:00.000+10:00

Well Eddie and I went out to the Beat, so that makes the 5th Sunday in a row!! I had lots of fun, strutting my stuff on the dance floor. I had a few drinks but I am sure that I worked them all off with all the dancing I did. I'm going to do a bit of exercise today anyway - my hotpants workout! (I bought a dvd last week called "The Hotpants Workout" and all the dancing is kinda Justin Timberlake style. Very cool!) Anyway Eddie and I arrived at about 6 and we ran into James and so we hung out with him some of the night. Eddie and I burned up the dance floor! Tessa Guy (one of the very fabulous drag queens) did a brilliant performance of "Sweet Transvestite" - he was so good! Very good timing of the lyrics - he's a brilliant performer. But what a shame, he has such a nice body!

I'd never been to Family for Fluffy Sunday because I've never worn the right shoes so we went over... I got asked for ID and Eddie looks younger than me!! It was pretty boring and the music hard to dance to so we were there for maybe 10 minutes before we left. I wouldn't mind going back to Family on a straight night - it looked a lot like the Planet, in Adelaide. Very cool design and lighting.

Eddie and I decided we'd better eat something small (as we were trashed!) so we got a foccacia to share at Mellinos on the way back to the Beat - I was so drunk at this stage and we rang Alex! Alex is one of our friends, very very young, and very very pretty that we met at the Beat early last year and I introduced him to our group. He's in Sydney at the moment, working at Krispy Kreme donuts. Alex is coming home soon for a visit and we're going out to the Beat... what a surprise!

We went back to the Beat just in time to catch the last few minutes of the dance show with Ash (we call him Ash cos we don't know his real name) and the other girl and guy. OH my god it is so sexy!! They prance around (choreographed) to music in little g-strings, and let me tell you - Ash is Eye.Candy!!!

Eddie and I didn't end up staying for the 2nd dance show - by about 1.30 we were getting pretty tired as we stopped drinking ages ago. Eddie won the lucky door prize of $100 which he split with me :D He's never won anything at the Beat. I think all that I've ever won is the Tug of War - I won $30 bar tab with two other people. :)

It was sort of different without Dale there - Eddie and I both missed him :( But I hope wherever he is, whatever he's doing, he's having lots of fun!

xK

Ps. Now its back to Optifast! :D

Partytime!

2005-07-03T00:20:00.000+10:00

Well tonight I went to Tracy's party at her place... I love her parties, they are always so relaxed and everyone always gets along so well. I didn't drink due to my Optifast, and I only nibbled on celery sticks, which I am allowed :) I am so proud of myself!!

(Haven't looked at the scales yet, I can't wait for Wednesday!!!)

xK

Day 2

2005-06-30T07:19:00.000+10:00

Its Day 2 of Optifast. And I feel tired, worn out and HUNGRY! My stomach is rumbling. But I have done this all before and I can do it all again. I am doing very well without the appetite suppressants! I don't need $80 Glorified Speed to help me to forget about food. I mean, I think about it, but I just distract myself with things to do.

Like this morning I'm off for a 2nd interview with Hallis for the Hutchison sales roles. This would be something new for me, although I don't know if I'm as interested in this role as the ADP payroll/customer service role through Robert Walters. Beggars can't be choosers though - the Hutchison role will start on Monday if I'm successful, and its in the Valley, so if it stopped raining for 20 mins I could walk to work! That would be very handy.

Wish me luck kids!!

xK

Where thoughts lead by Ralph Marston

2005-06-29T18:19:00.000+10:00

What if all the world could see your every thought? Would you be proud of those thoughts, or would you be embarrassed and ashamed?

In fact, the world can see your thoughts. For your thoughts do surely and eventually make themselves known in the way your life progresses.

If you carry around hateful, angry, cynical and destructive thoughts, those thoughts will infect your life with misfortune, disappointment and emptiness. When most of your thoughts are thankful, loving, creative and joyful, those thoughts will be expressed through your life as success, achievement, and good fortune.

In each moment, you are able to choose your thoughts. And as those moments build on each other, the thoughts you have chosen become clearly apparent in the details of your life.
Your thoughts are yours to create, control and direct. By increasing the positive value of your thoughts, you bring real, positive substance into your world.

Choose thoughts that you'd be pleased for all the world to see. And those thoughts will lead to a life that is impressive indeed.

-- Ralph Marston

OMG you know what that means?!?!

2005-06-29T09:16:00.000+10:00

That means, instead of putting on 10kg like I thought, I only put on 7.5kg!!!!! I'm so happy!!! Its not as bad as I thought.

I CAN DO THIS!!!

xK

My Stats

2005-06-29T09:14:00.000+10:00

As you can see on the right under the heading "After a Little Setback" I have put my stats, starting with todays true weight. Look!!! I have lost 15.5kg!!!!! Already! Thats a good head start. And I know that I will not ruin that hard work. Every Wednesday I will be posting my Stats (I can't weigh myself everyday!) for you all to see and to keep tabs on my progress.

I'm a lean mean fat fighting machine!!!!

xK

Benn the Mystery Mann

2005-06-29T08:52:00.000+10:00

Benn, thanks for your comment!! Have you set up a blogger yet? You didn't leave anyway for me to contact you... Good luck with your Optifast!

As for me its Day 1!! Look out world, this girl is SHRINKING. Right before your very eyes!

xK

Finding the strength within - again

2005-06-28T21:03:00.000+10:00

I am so angry with myself. Compare some of the later posts to the first ever one on this journal. I have totally gone back to how I was before. Oh wait, the only difference is that I drink more! And its taken me quite a few weeks to realise this. I've tried to deny it to myself, to kid myself into thinking that I am still doing well. And in the last week or so I've realised that I have slipped back into my old habits... Well thats it! I am taking CONTROL! NO more emotional eating!!!! No more forgetting how important it is to ME that I lose this weight.

I forgive myself for the last month where I haven't been focussed, I have learnt from it, and I am moving ON!!! I am again inspired and optimistic. I think internally I was so angry with myself that I was punishing myself with bad food and lifestyle. See, it is only me that has done more damage - no one else. Its a very viscious circle, obesity. You eat because you are angry, and you are angry because you eat. Combine this with NO exercise and blobbing around and voila! back to square one. You see I don't eat bad food - oh no, I am good about the foods I choose. SO I have learnt SOMETHING. But its all about the quantity of the foods that I'm eating. I don't stop when my stomach has had enough, I stop when my heart and mind have had enough.

Regular readers and my closest friends would know that in the last month I have slipped. I was told that I would slip but I absolutely refused to believe it. I was so motivated and determined and I went so hard about it, that I thought I would never fall off. Well you can imagine how angry at myself I am for doing exactly that!!!

Slowly I am learning to express my anger in more constructive ways - blogging, journalling, confiding in friends and family - instead of stuffing myself with foods I considered ok.

See its at this point that I would usually give up and never turn back. Not this time. Something inside of me has still changed, and its that which I still hold onto for dear life.

xK

I'm singing in the rain...

2005-06-28T08:51:00.000+10:00

Well I should! Its pouring down rain!! At times like this I wish I had a BIG umbrella, but its with a friend, so I am stuck with this pissy $5 cheapo! So I think I will get a cab to the station so that I don't get so wet. I have an interview this morning. Wish me luck!!!

Also on a side note, I have so totally fallen off the Optifast wagon. Lately I've been going out partying, drinking and making bad choices when it comes to food. No more of that. I can't deal with the way my body feels. The next few weeks I'll be focussing more on my body and my weight loss... time to get obsessed again. Buying a box of Optifast TODAY, no excuses.

I owe it to myself - I don't want to waste all my hard work over the last 2 months. My body is a goddess but lately its been living the life of a trashy queen. I deserve better.

xK

Save Zach

2005-06-27T23:51:00.001+10:00

Meet Zach: blog.myspace.com/specialkid
And sign the petition: http://www.petitiononline.com/savezach/petition.html

His story brings tears to mine and many others' eyes all across the world... Zach's parents, after coming out to them, decided to send him off to some boot camp to "straighten him out" ... how barbaric. Now, while I agree that his parents are just doing what THEY think is best (we are all victims of victims, I believe) - but you would think they'd have some sensitivity to Zach... like he would have reacted towards their punishment for his admission. Maybe his parents had really homophobic parents, but surely they must look around, and see the world for what it is? We are not all straight. We do not all get married (even the straight ones) and we do not all have children. There are books, websites, support groups, and how could parents today not be aware of homosexuality? I really feel for Zach. He had the courage to come out to his parents, and they in turn abused his trust.

Queerplanet.com is home to the campaign against 16 year old Zach being shipped off to a re-training facility for gay teens. "Love In Action" its called, which I think is on the same lines of when in the old days gays and lesbians were shipped off to the nuthouse. Don't you people see? They aren't sick!! There is NOTHING wrong with them! Who said that everyone had to get married and live happily ever after!!! Not everyone has the same ideals of "happily ever after" and in todays society we should embrace this diversity...

And can I say... ONLY in America would they have such a thing. How come it is not banned? I am SURE that it is not legal, to go against someones wishes and make them go to a camp and tell them how to dress. Especially MINORS!! In America you have to be 21 before youre allowed to drink, smoke, gamble etc. SURELY sending minors off to this homophobic cult group is a crime?! WHY isn't this being investigated?!??! Make some noise people!! No one will think its wrong if we don't voice our opinions!!

To all of the equally lovely gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender people out there who read this, I quote Penelope Cruz from "Gothika" in saying - "They can have my body, but they'll never have my soul." Remember that. You can be beaten up, send off to barbaric camps, judged, teased - whatever. We hear of such things every day. But they still can't make you alter your sexuality. That is something that you have, that is special, and what makes you YOU. NO ONE can make you do anything without your consent, and no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. They can try to bring you down, and try to change you, but you keep out there, loud gay and happy, and remember you should NEVER be ashamed of who you are. EVER. Keep that inside, deep inside of you, the secret against such homophobia - that they can say whatever they like, its not going to make a difference and that they cannot change you.

The minute you give in to their hypocrisy is when they THINK that they have won. Be strong!!

xK

Big Weekend!!

2005-06-27T12:29:00.000+10:00

Saturday night I went out in the city with Huw and Jacquie. We started at Cesars, but Huw really hated it there... I must say I wasn't too impressed with it either... I thought that there would be more people there... the music was ok to dance to though! Jacquie and I got up and had a boogy but then we left because Huw was looking really bored.

We then went to the Belgian Beer Cafe on Mary Street, and I started on champers, cos I don't drink beer. But as Huw and Jaqquie tried all these different beers, I was thinking I might have been missing out somewhat. So I tried a beer, that you have with chocolate. Very expensive but worth it, especially as I don't usually drink beer but I enjoyed this one. Matt and Clint and their friends met up with us at B.B.C. but they only stayed for like 20 minutes, I think it was too quiet for them. So after they left, we stayed til they closed the bar down and then we went back to Huw's place and drank Tokay, mmmm it was very yummy. We had this with chocolate too.

Last night I went out to the Beat with Eddie and Dale. It was Dales last Sunday Funday for a while as he goes overseas on Sunday. The three of us all had fun dancing and getting very silly. Dj Angie disappointed us last week because she didn't play the routine songs, but I went up and requested them, and we did them all!! Nutbush City Limits, Macarena, Time Warp and Stop! VERY good work out. Made my glasses fog up!! Later on, Dale disappeared for a little while and so Eddie and I got hot on the dance floor. It was such a great night!! And the dance people - 2 guys and one girl - were the main attraction I'd say. They do actual choreographed dance and one of the dancers is soooooooo hot!! Dale and I have named him Ash because we don't know his name and we are sick of referring to him as the "hot dancer guy" hehe. He's muscley and toned and ohhhh god he *does* things to me!!! Very camp but good to look at. Eddie went home early because he had to iron shirts for work, while Dale and I stayed on. We sat outside and had a D&M in the rain to sober up a little bit. Then we went back inside for more dancing and then they had a 2nd dance show - they actually did it to different music, and with different choreography - I am so glad that we stayed. THEN they had teh "Best Butt Comp" where the prize was a $100 bar tab... You have to bear your bare arse, so there was no way I was getting up there, and we had to cheer for who had the best butt!! Very enjoyable to watch!!! hehehe!!!

Dale and I got home about 3am and we were laughing at the gecko which was squished in the door jam the other day. I am SURE it was him. But I had to clean him up, it was disgusting... Cleaned it up the other day not this morning though. But called Dale the Gecko Murderer and we had a good laugh as I made the following limerick (on the spot):

There once was a gecko
So innocent and sweet
Along came Dale
And crushed him with his FEET!!!

*giggles*

Eddie is now my proxy boyfriend while Dale is away. Eddie has always been my "boyfriend" but we've had to play it down so Eddie's real boyfriend Sam doesn't feel left out :P Look out Samson.

Today I'm going to brunch with Eddie. Well its really lunch, but I call it brunch because I haven't had breakfast. I'm going back to my usual job searching before I meet him, and after, of course. I need to find a job!!

xKerri

Pink Tit Bits!!!

2005-06-25T00:24:00.000+10:00

What a great night!!! I went to see Pink Tit Bits at the Brisbane Powerhouse Centre for the Arts, in New Farm. Eileen Surepuss and Twottie Goldsmith were the hostesses with the mostest, and fabulous entertainers.

I had to get up on stage!! I was up for a test to be the "Most Inappropriate Queer" and that involved doing a chicken dance and answering some very queer questions. I didn't win, so I wasn't the most inappropriate but I did win some tickets to a show next week and a free drink!!

This performance was to support Brisbane Pride Festival ... fabulous.

Pink Tit Bits

xK

Food for thought

2005-06-23T23:35:00.000+10:00

Those who know me closely know this story, but I thought I'd share it with the rest of the world...

Back when I was 19 years old, I reached a turning point in my life. I was shy, quiet and generally went un-noticed. And up until I was 19, I didn't care. I didn't value myself enough to want people to notice me... and if there ever was any attention on me, I'd blush madly, and feel really self conscious. Well, I reached a point where I just grew tired of feeling so shy. I was missing out on a lot of things just because I didn't think that I was good enough.

So I watched other confident people - I looked at the way they interacted with people and how they held themselves. And I just copied them. I copied the way that they smiled at everyone, I copied the way that they talked to others.

Soon enough I had my own style and I felt confident enough to do things on my own. And everything in my world changed, just by making a few small changes to my behaviour and attitude. More people talked to me, I talked to more people, and through this, I met new people. And most importantly, I didn't blush like crazy when people DID talk to me. I enjoyed attention from anyone - be it a cat on the street or a bartender at a club. I'm not saying that it was all flirty attention - just normal every day interaction...

Thoughts can be challenged and then changed. I adopted a "fake it til you make it" attitude and it totally changed my life. I know I'm not perfect, and theres still alot of things I'd like to change about me. But I know that I'm a likeable person and I know that I will never be lonely in life.

xK

In the universe, I am but one small person, but I'm the most important person in my universe...

2005-06-23T10:30:00.000+10:00

Yes thats right folks, its all about me. Me me me!!!

So what have I been doing lately you ask? Hmmm... yesterday I went for an interview at Robert Walters. My consultant seemed impressed with me, and put me forward for a permanent position. Hopefully I should hear something back soon, and I'll get a time for an interview. Robert Walters is at Waterfront Place, next to the Eagle St Pier... When I went up to the 27th floor, the view was gorgeous. Maybe I should pull my finger out and get myself a nice career in recruitment. I think I'd do well with a view like that.

After the interview I met a guy that I've been talking to online, I went to his work, and flirted my pretty eyes off. Hehe I'm so naughty. I keep telling myself that I don't need anyone to be happy, and I guess I don't. It would just be *nice* to have someone. To share special things with...

Later on in the night I went for a walk with Eddie, Samson and Dale. We all get along so well together. Out of our whole group its us four who really get on like a house on fire. I think its because we are all so alike in personality. We had to walk faster in order to keep warm because it was about 11c last night! Freezing!!

Today I'm off to another interview with a recruitment consultant, for a job at Optus call centre. The more I think about it, the more I think that I would really enjoy this position. Its located in the valley, so I could walk to work. (Brunswick Street Mall in the Valley is only a 20 mins walk for me) Its permanent and on a good salary and its within a call centre environment. So I will have to go and dazzle this consultant, so that she loves me enough to put me forward for the position.

I've been getting bored without a job, I really have. But I am not going to settle for a temporary or contract position again - because I need to settle down, with one company, and stay there. I can do that :) Looking at my resume, it doesn't look like I settle down for even 2 minutes. I think I've changed in the last year though. I want something permanent and lasting and where I can settle in and get on family terms with my team.

*sigh* Cross everything people!!! Mumma needs a job!!!!

xK

2005-06-22T18:34:00.000+10:00

Taken before my interview this afternoon! ;)

My Favourite Blonde Joke...

2005-06-21T19:46:00.000+10:00

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!" Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were watching!" Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men!!!!

70 questions

2005-06-21T10:58:00.000+10:00

1. copy and paste this into your blog

2.BOLD anything thats true
3. leave plain anything thats untrue.

001. i miss sumone right now
002. i watch tv more than i used to.
003. i love olives
004. i love sleeping
005. i own lots of books
006. i wear glasses or contact lenses
007. i love to play video games
008. ive tried marijuana (never again!)
009. ive watched porn movies
010. ive been in a 3some
011. ive been the phsyco ex in a past relationship
012. i believe honesty is the best policy
013. i eat meat
014. i like and respect michael jackson
015. i curse frequently
016. i have changed alot over the past year
017. i have a hobby
018. i have been told that i have a nice butt
019. i carry a knife/razor every where with me
020. i have never broken any one elses bones (an accident, sorry Leslie!)
021. i have a secret i too ashamed 2 reveal
022. i love the rain
023. im paranoid at times
024. i would get plastic surgery if it was 100% safe, free of cost and scar free
025. i need money right now
026. i love sushi
027. i talk really fast at times
028. i have fresh breath when i wake up
029. i have semi-long hair
030. i have lost money at a casino
031. i have at least 1 brother and/or sister
032. i was born in a country outside of australia
033. i shave my legs
034. i have a twin
035. i couldnt survive without caller ID (stalkers! eep)
036. i like the way i look
037. i have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months
038. i know how 2 do cornrows
039. im usually pessimistic
040. i have mood swings
041. i think prositution should be legalised
042. i think britney spears is hot
043. i have cheated on a significant other (only once, never again :S )
044. i have a hidden talent
045. i am always hyper no matter how much sugar ive had
046. i think im popular
047. im currently single
048. i have kissed sum1 of the same sex
049. i practically live in pj pants and track pants
050. i love 2 shop
051. id rather shop than eat
052. i would classify myself as ghetto
053. im bourgie and i have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
054. im obbsessed with my blog
055. i dont hate any one
056. im a great dancer
057. i dont think mike tyson raped disree washington (I hate Mike Tyson)
058. im embarrassed 2 be seen with my mother
059. i have a mobile phone
060. i watch MTV on a daily basis
061. i have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
062. i have been in a real relationship before
063. ive rejected someone before
064. i have a crush on some one
065. i have no idea wat i want to do with the rest of my life
066. i want to have children in the future (sorry mum)
067. i have changed a nappy before
068. i have had the police called on me before
069. i bite my nails
070. im not allergic to any thing

2005-06-20T17:33:00.000+10:00

Me in my specs!

2005-06-20T17:32:00.000+10:00

My brand new specs!! (sorry about the hair... I'm hungover! :P)

Party. Animal.

2005-06-19T13:50:00.000+10:00

Friday night I had dinner with Dale, Michelle and Huw @ Broadway. I got these half price noodles from Pure and Fresh, cos.. they looked nice - didn't notice that they were FILLED with chilli though and nearly burnt my tongue off. Went back and got a chicken and avocado pita which had lots of salad in the middle. Trying to stay healthy as possible. So much for my going back to 3 shakes a day. I think that I will go back to my transition phase - 2 shakes a day and a light meal for dinner.

When I got home, I went online and I was a little bored - wide awake. Steve was online, one of my friends and he was having a few drinks. He was meant to go to Jebediah but invited me over for drinks instead. Ended up staying the night. Sorry girls and boys I do NOT kiss and tell ;) Except for, Steve's a good kisser :P

xKerri

A weak moment

2005-06-17T08:55:00.000+10:00

Last night at Indooroopilly, I had a weak moment at Darrell Lea. I really wanted to try their sugar free chocolate. We went there cos Eddie was getting a present for his boyfriend. Lucky Eddie was there to save me from temptation... I did get a little bit embarrassed, because we made bit of a spectacle in front of the shop assistants as Eddie was saying that I shouldn't buy the chocolate. I even got moody, and defensive... which was the wrong thing to do. That's how I got this way in the first place.

It made me realise that compared to day 1, my motivation has slipped... Lately I have not been doing the shakes, but I can tell you right now - this morning I am going over to the discount chemist across the road from me, and I am getting another box of Optifast, and I am going on shakes FULL TIME again. No more eating real food. No more giving into temptation.

I have lost 23kg already, and I am not going to undo the hard work that I have put in!

What is motivating me this time? What is going to keep me going in the next few weeks as my body readjusts to the shakes? The fact that next Saturday, I will be able to see a better loss on the scales!! I am going so well, and I will continue to amaze myself.

It was bound to happen wasn't it? Its hard undoing a lifetime of bad habits and changing thinking. But I have always said: if a thought is just a thought, why can't we change it? Our mind is the most powerful organ we have... and we have the ability to tune it, just like a radio. We can set the frequency to whatever we want, and I must admit, I've been on the Easy Listening station rather than Techno Dance/Motivation station... and today.. I am promising myself to change that.

Not going to give up my white coffee though - that's the one thing that I allow myself. :)

The Shrinking Woman returns, with a vengence!!!!

xK

Gawd

2005-06-16T18:14:00.000+10:00

Ok obviously my previous post offended a few people! I wasn't serious :P Well I was sort of serious... those who know me well knew what I meant. I'm not really looking at the moment, though I am interested in someone at the moment. Actually I'm interested in two guys at the moment... but still getting to know them. ;)

(Nope not telling cos I think that they both read this blog!!)

xK

Too Much

2005-06-14T01:37:00.000+10:00

Is it too much to ask that I find a guy who is:

Intelligent and Well-Read
Well dressed/groomed
Articulate
Funny

AND

STRAIGHT ?!?!?!?

*sigh* I guess so.

I've realised, after some soul-searching thinking, that the guy I'm looking for matches that of a gay man! All I want is Mr Perfect!! Is that too much to ask?

I think I might give up on the whole search - I have restored worth in my singledom, and I have great friends and family. It would be nice to find someone to have that "something more" with but until then I will be happy with my friends and family - and myself.

xKerri

2005-06-12T11:54:00.000+10:00

One of Studmuffin's impressive photos, taken last night at the Mangroves near QUT :) Left to right is Sam, Eddy, Me, Dale, Jacqui and Rod

Last night - fabulous, cheers darling...

2005-06-12T11:11:00.000+10:00

Well after trying the Casino and Bubbles, all 14 of us ended up at The Coffee Club on Albert Street! We had a very witty waitress who was very entertaining named Di. If you ever go there, say hi to her, she's very friendly. Our group was sitting on the sidewalk - alfresco dining - on Albert Street and so we got optimum perving opportunities!

I was good, and had a caesar salad, and tried to keep up with all of the personalities and conversations - which were mainly about boys etc :P

As the night wore on, everyone kind of filtered out and we migrated towards Baskin and Robbins. I had a child sized cone of fat-free strawberry sorbet.... very nice :) Then we went down to the Botanic Gardens and walked around... we ended up at the mangroves, and Studmuffin tried out his new camera and took some very impressive shots!

xoxo K

Copy Cat Central...

2005-06-10T11:29:00.000+10:00

Self-quiz

I stole this from Lucky Pink! Hehe.... Thanks!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8am

2. Diamonds or pearls? *sings* If I gave you diamonds and pearls Would you be a happy boy or a girl.... hehe sorry... (its a Prince song if you didn't know!) Ummm... I'd say Diamonds. As they are a girls best friend, I hear ;)

3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? Kingdom of Heaven. Orlando Bloom... *drools*

4. What is your favorite TV show? Well it was LOST... but every time I watch it I end up so frustrated!!! They never tell you ANYTHING!!!! I'd say either Kath n Kim or Absolutely Fabulous now. Cheers, thanks sweetie.

5. What did you have for breakfast? A banana and 2 slices of toast, finished off with a nice Gloria Jeans Coffee... I made it myself.

6. What is your middle name? The most boring middle name in the world - Ann. Yep no 'e', I'm a simple kinda girl - no frills. (Thrills but not frills. Got it?)

7 What is your favorite cuisine? Japanese. SUSHI!!!!

8. What foods do you dislike? Spicy foods or anything like KFC, Hungry Jacks or Red Rooster. Fat + Carbs = trouble! I haven't worked my ass off for 3 months to ruin it with stupid foods like that!

9. What is your favorite chip flavor? Chips?! Eww. I'll pass, thanks.

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Just discovered the band Zero 7... Thanks Dale. Nice chilled out style.

11. What type of car do you drive? I wish. One day I will have a pretty car, but for now I don't really need one. Don't need the expense either.

12. Favorite sandwich? Anything with avocado!

13. What characteristic do you despise? Pretentious-ness... Is that a word?

14. Favorite item of clothing? My denim skirt... or anything pink!

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? I know its boring.. but I have never been to Sydney or Melbourne as an adult before. I have a goal to visit one of these cities next year :) Going to Sydney for Mardi Gras would be cool.. NO not to actually BE IN it... just watch :)

16. What color is your bathroom? Blue.... Old retro 70s style.

17. Favorite brand of clothing? No favourites - I just go with whatever looks good and is comfortable.

18. Where would you retire to? Somewhere laidback and coastal.

19. Favorite time of the day? No real favourite time of the day...

20. Favorite sport to watch? NRL - go the MIGHTY MIGHTY BLUES!!!

21. What fabric detergent do you use? Whatever is on special, except for homebrand I guess.

22. Coke or Pepsi? Coke, but I'd only drink it if it had some type of alcohol in it!!

23. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Night Owl.

24. What is your shoe size? 10

25. Do you have any pets? I am still learning to look after myself, let alone some poor defenseless pet! :P

26. Any new and exciting news you would like to share with family & friends? Lets see... I'm getting glasses.... I'm on a weight loss journey and already a 3rd of the way to my goal... I am currently dating... *giggle* and... umm.... I'm constructing a plan for world domination!

27. What did you want to be when you were little? A Preschool Teacher

A brief hiatus...

2005-06-08T17:23:00.000+10:00

Well, Kellys rang me yesterday morning to tell me that I am no longer needed at Dept of Communities because they have hired the new A02... I knew that would happen! See this is why I don't like temporary jobs! I am still going ahead with a few government positions and slogging through the selection criterias...

So if anyone out there is reading this and they an an employer in Brisbane :) Send me an email! You need me!! I am a star performer!!

I WILL NOT BE UNEMPLOYED for long... I need to get back into it...

xKerri

SMS from the psycho

2005-06-07T06:38:00.000+10:00

I now have two mobile phones, so I put my old Telstra sim card in the old phone... and when I turned it on, just to see if anything had happened.. like anyone had tried to call where I hadn't given them the new number... I found a txt from Chris. This is what it said:

"I know I've been a pain in the arse, but your things will be returned in the next 2 weeks. Been a bit busy, funerals and all. I'm sorry for being such a pain, I'll let you know when. And I need my dvd back, but that can wait, no hurry."

I can't believe that he even had the nerve to sms!! I received it on the 2nd of June... Haven't replied, and I never will. I will send him back his dvd in the mail, only so that he doesn't have any reason to contact me anymore... I don't even want my things returned - I couldn't care less.

I love how he just roughly apologised for his past behaviour... like a stupid little "sorry" will do it... quite amusing actually.

I've moved on with my life - I have been losing weight, and working on myself, and realising what is important... He isn't someone I want in my life, and so I will not waste my time on him.... (Just so you all know that I'm not bitter!)

xK

Look at how skinny my face is :D

2005-06-06T22:00:00.000+10:00

Now compare it with an old pic from August 2002: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v611/Kewwi/kerriaug3cheeky.jpg

2005-06-02T06:50:00.000+10:00

Its a cruel cruel world...

The Jetsons, meet the Jetsons

2005-06-02T06:23:00.000+10:00

I watched Beyond Tomorrow last night, this century's answer to the popular 1980s TV show, Beyond 2000. I find these shows so fascinating! I remember back in the 80s, it was considered "sci fi" to have mobile phones that took pictures - and now there are video phones! I remember years ago watching the Jetsons (the cartoon) and looking at their video phones and thinking "wow, we will never have that - that's impossible" but now we have video conferencing - even on our mobile phones. Will we all be zooming around in space ships, and cars that fold up into briefcases in the next 20 years?

Last night Brett came over and we watched some AbFab episodes. I made hot chocolate and then when Brett went home, I went to bed early... it was so good getting a decent night of sleep. It was really cold last night but then again it IS winter! I really want to buy a winter jacket... but you see my dilemma is that I will buy it now in the size that I *am* and then in a few months it will be too big for me... I guess "too big" always looks better than "too small". Hmmm I should definitely look at getting one... otherwise I will freeze my ass off this winter!

The constructions are finally finished at the corner of Adelaide, Edward and Queen Street! David Jones are renovating and expanding and the building they have been working on is finally finished... it has a Starbucks on Adelaide street and as I wandered by I saw a few other places... looks very nice :)

Thank god its nearly the end of the week - its been crazy lately. No one at work really knows what I do, so EVERYONE comes to me. I will be so glad when the new A02 person starts, and that encourages me to look for my own full time government position - at the moment I am just a temp, doing whatever else everyone else doesn't wanna do... I believe that I am worth more than that. So in the next few weeks I will be looking at more government positions, and working on the selection criteria that goes with them. Selection criteria keeps out the riff-raff I think... I'm NOT the riff-raff!! ;)

Time to get ready for work...
xK

Calm Day

2005-05-31T06:25:00.000+10:00

I don't get paid enough to be this stressed - I am just a temp!!!

xK

Ps. Vote for El's shirt!!!!!! instructions are below

Vote for Lil El's Shirt

2005-05-30T20:59:00.000+10:00

1. Go to JayJays.com.au
2. When you see this froggy : you hover your mouse over him, and then go to the lilly pad named "Design a Tee"

3. At the bottom of the flash page, it says "Gallery" - click on that. It might take a while to load depending on your connection... THEN...

2005-05-30T20:45:00.000+10:00

4. Click on View Now when you go through the gallery to find El's shirt design!

5. Vote 10 for awake with el!!! (The more votes of 10 she gets the better chances she has)

If El wins, she gets her tshirt design put in JayJays (so billions of people could be wearing her very own design) AND she will get $1000!!!

xoxo Kerri

Comic Book Guys Voice: "Worst meeting... EVER!"

2005-05-30T20:10:00.000+10:00

Well today was one of the most stressful days at work that I have had, and it seriously made me consider getting my Kellys consultant to look for something else for me. After a nice cup of coffee and listening to my iPod I realised that it was only due to my lack of experience and that I'm new to Communities that I didn't handle it well, and decided that wasn't a just reason to pack it all in. See, coffee IS good for the brain!

I was asked to take minutes for a meeting, and Anne - who was meant to be organising it, but had several others doing her work for her - was very disorganised. What she didn't tell me was that I was meant to write "notes" regarding the document which they were updating - the whole reason for the meeting!!! (Now I think its important to tell you... SHE was the person appointed to take these notes, but she asked me to come in and take the notes as she has not a fucking clue of what to do!!)

Due to not recognising points rather than just general conversation, I missed vital parts that I was meant to put down! Everyone had to repeat themselves more than once and I could tell they were getting frustrated with me. I felt bad for asking what I'd missed because Anne would say "Oh you don't need to write this..." and so I'd just look at the person talking, instead of typing the notes!

I had to type all of this into a laptop, which I hated, my fingers are too big for the keys and I get too picky with the layout of the document - my preference would have been to write it FIRST and then type it up on the computer... but you know, Anne is higher up than me, and I had to do what she said. Well the more managerial and executive people at the table would say something and they'd ask if I got that... I hadn't. I'd been relying on Anne to tell me that yes, this was a valid point and that I should include it in the notes... but no! Anne had been off daydreaming. What sort of Administration Manager is she?!? I got so cranky, which I realise is unprofessional but she made me look really bad.

I think that if there ever is a next time that I'm taking minutes for Anne, or ANYONE, in a situation like that, *I* will decide what I think is necessary, or wait til I am instructed by the person who is saying it. *sigh* Its all a learning curve though and I know better for next time. In the grand scheme of things, I am just a baby in the government though and I am still learning the ins and outs of things.

Anyway thats enough bitching from me.

IN OTHER NEWS...

I lost 0.5kg this week :D I'm on my 12th week now and I am so happy :) I thought that was 22.5 kg gone, but I was wrong... I'm 134.5kg now, so thats !!!! 23 kg gone!!!
SW: 157.5 CW: 135 GW: 70 (64.5kg to go!!!)

I'm the SHIT!!!! (B A N A N A S!)

2005-05-23T18:28:00.000+10:00

My 4km Walk!

I FEEL SO GOOD!!!!!

(Addresses taken out to remain secure!)

From: [My Work] BRISBANE

To: [My Street] WINDSOR

Total travel distance: 4.05 km

Estimated travel time: 1 Hr 24 Mins - I made it in UNDER 1hr!!!

Watch this space - I'm gonna shrink even more!!!!

Alcohol is evil...

2005-05-22T09:56:00.000+10:00

I don't remember how much I drank, or exactly WHAT I drank but this morning, it all came out of me, and now I feel terrible... Lots of water and bedrest is needed. What am I even doing online?

xK

The One About the Wallet...

2005-05-22T03:34:00.000+10:00

(Written today, Tuesday the 24th of May but thats beside the point)

The day started off with E. and S. in the valley - went to Mellinos for "brunch" (even though it was more like lunch time by the time the guys arrived!). S. and I had omlettes and E. the Vegetarian Breakfast as usual... I must say, the service at Mellinos leaves a lot to be desired! We all asked for no butter on our toast and they forgot that and brought out our meals with BUTTERED toast... but the food is always worth it, which is why we go back every single time! :P Then the three of us all walked around the valley markets, and visited Cindy. I bought two bags from her at bargain prices and then a cute little toy puppy for E's car :) [It was so gorgeous. I have a few things that I want to sell now and so I think I will set up a stall of my own in the valley now!]

I went home about 3 to get ready and stopped off at the bottle shop on the way home. I bought D. and I a 750ml bottle of Vodka and 6 Cowboy shots... As soon as D. arrived home from work, we drank some cowboys and mixed the vodkas... Imagine us running about in our knickers shoving our selves with as many drinks as possible before we left! B. arrived in his very sexy Orange Volvo, The Vengabus and we all set off to Forest Lake for his Birthday party. We had to stop at Sporties to pick up one of Brucie's "friends" - you see he never invited Chris but he lives in Melbourne and Chris was telling B. all about the party and he said "oh great I'll come up then!" B. reckons he didn't get a chance to say no... I then taught him how to say no effectively but of course it was TOO LATE!! GOOD ONE B!!! So we were kinda stuck with him - everytime he opened his mouth, B. D. and I all rolled our eyes. Arrived at T.'s place, one of B. friends, and D. and I met so many wonderful people :) The party went really well. T. only had a few rules to her place - no throwing cigarette butts on the ground, no feeding the dog and no shoes on the carpet in the house - anything else goes!! So we all got along really well with her. S., her very cool sister in law who bought my Kylie ticket was equally as cool :) I also met B.'s best friend J. and C., who I'd heard a lot about. B. and I later decided that whenever we next go out, my posse is going to join with his posse and we'll all mingle :D

When D., B. and I were muchly drunk, we headed into the valley. J. drove her car with B. and C. (who doesn't drink and who wasn't coming out) drove D., AnnoyingChris and I. We said our goodbyes to C. and thats when D. realised he'd lost his wallet... Cue freaking out and him touching himself all over to find it. After much fussing, we rang T. and found out that D. had left his wallet in S.'s car when we had gone down to the bottle shop to buy more passion pop earlier in the night!!!

Yes thats right. I, Kerri, drank Passion Pop and I think that its only because I was really drunk that I decided it was quite a "nice drop" !! PFFTTT!!! Don't do it kiddies!! Passion Pop doesn't do to well coming up the next morning!!!!!!!!

After locating D.'s wallet and we knew it was in a safe place, we headed off for the Wickham - we were afraid that D. wouldn't get into the Beat because he didn't have any ID on him. The music was shite as usual but we all had a good boogie. We lost AnnoyingChris somewhere along the way and later on we found out that he'd heard all the nasty things we'd said about him... so I feel kinda bad now... cos you know, theres this stuff called karma...

D. and I walked home from the valley, which surprisingly only took about 20 mins. There were these two really cute guys walking behind us and they were just as drunk as we were, perhaps more, and they were obnoxiously calling out names of fruit and vegies to passing cars... They tried to get us to join in our little game too... I said to D. that we should take them home and play with them, that they look fun :P haha Naughty Kerri... Well I was drunk!!

Arrived home at about 3am, after making D.'s bed up and getting in, I was passed out within 5 mins. Three hours later though... omg. I was up being sick :( And I felt awful. I AM NEVER DRINKING THAT AMOUNT AGAIN! So yeah I spent most of Sunday feeling very sorry for myself while D., the little champ, trundled off to work! Can you believe that?! After he arrived home, we went to B.'s to get his wallet, and so ended our wild wild weekend :D

xK

1.5kg down!!!

2005-05-21T11:44:00.000+10:00

Hi all, can't stay long cos I am about to go out to the valley this morning... BUT I have lost 1.5kg this week!!!! *happy happy joy joy*

xoxo Kerri

2005-05-18T22:32:00.000+10:00

Kerri gets glasses!!! Just a cheap pair til I find something that I really love. These will do the trick for now! What do you think? I only need them for reading and on the puter. xoxo K

Cancer shock for Kylie Minogue causes her to postpone (cancel) her Showgirl Tour...

2005-05-17T20:37:00.000+10:00

We love you Kylie and wish you a speedy recovery!

*sigh* Its a horrible thing to happen, especially to our "singing budgie" and I was so looking forward to her tour... oh well... there will be a next time, I know.

Press Release:
http://premier.ticketek.com.au/shows/show.aspx?sh=KYLIETPH05

Kylie's Statement:
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,15318035-2,00.html

xoxo Kerri

Weight loss, peace, quiet and safety!

2005-05-14T14:20:00.000+10:00

*does a little happy dance* Adam has been evicted - or whoever was living there at the time. Adam was apparently in hospital and he had "friends" living there in his place. Don't think they were paying the rent or anything though. My real estate agent has got them all evicted! No more worrying about dodgy people. Now, I hope I get a cute neighbour!!!

I didn't lose any weight this week. :( I am ok with that - at least I didn't put any on, and I have still lost 20.5kg!!! :D I'll put some photos up soon of how my clothes are looking - really really loose on me!

xoxo Kerri

My photo...

2005-05-12T20:16:00.000+10:00

Below my post that I just did, theres a photo, which was taken (and posted) on the 7th of May!

xoxo Kerri

Here I am!

2005-05-12T19:38:00.000+10:00

It feels like ages since I have posted a decent entry! So here I am, mind at task to letting you all know what is going on with me in my life, and how my weight loss is going!

I have cheated a few times, by going out drinking. I have been meeting new people lately and generally expanding my social circle. I make up for the cheating with walking and riding my exercise bike. I haven't put on any extra weight, and it feels great... Despite my cheating, I have learnt how to balance it, and I always make sure that I don't cheat too much. In fact tonight while I'm watching LOST I am going to be on the exercise bike in the ads :) And then I am going walking on Saturday night with a friend.

Last night I met Brett in the city. Originally we met online but we met up in person quickly enough so that it wasn't just an over-the-net friendship. We had a great night! After I finished work we went to Gilhooleys on Albert and had a few drinks together. It was great - Brett is such a nice guy and I am lucky to have him as a friend, I can feel that already. We seem to have a lot in common as well. (Yes I know you read this Brett!!) We like the same music too, and he's a KYLIE fan! Always good to have more friends who are Kylie fans!

Chris is now ancient history. I have no reason to see him or speak to him again, and nor would I want to - I don't need losers like that in my life. He's always going to have problems, and I don't want to get caught up as much as I did. I don't regret meeting him, because I don't "do" regrets, but I know that I will have to be more careful in the future with who I meet, and not trust so easily too fast. That is half of my problem. Chris had been calling me, and he'd been nothing but abusive and it kinda made me abit worried that he'd come after me and be physically abusive. I mean why does he have a DVO against him from his previous ex? Because I trusted him, I had never worried too much about that before, its funny what you will believe when you trust someone. So I had my locks changed at my house so that I'd feel more secure. He still has my old key, but if he ever comes here, heaven forbid, and tries to come in, the key won't work! I changed my mobile number too... and I have only given it out to trusted friends, family and work contacts. I was going to change my home phone too but that would have cost me another $59 connection fee! And they would have had to set me up with a new internet account as well - thats too much hassle. I can screen all of my calls with my answering machine, and if its him I certainly won't be answering it. I'm mostly on the internet anyway so the phone is mostly engaged at nights! Those who know me closely enough, like my family etc call me on my mobile now if they can't get through on my home phone.

I've bought a few things over ebay lately... I'm a little bit addicted to it - its great! Last week I (won) bought a book that I've been trying to acquire for years! Its called "Get On With It" by Sue Ostler, a book about loving the single life, and how to raise your self esteem and self worth. Definitely a very good book - very very very good reading! This week I have won some Kath n Kim fridge magnets - you know the ones where you can dress them up - for $11 and a new mobile phone case for my Nokia 3315... the one that I have is pretty ratty... but I don't care what anyone says - my 3315 is a great phone -it has everything that I need on it. I don't need a camera phone or all these other jazzy features. I have never been one for optional extras... All that I use a phone for is to send SMS and to call with - which the 3315 does wonderfully!

I have been doing a bit of walking at New Farm lately. The pontoon is so pretty at night! I love it. I usually go with Dale and Eddie and we walk and talk and talk and talk - something that I never get sick of. Theres always something to talk about. Dale and I play this game where we see a guy that is really gross, and we say "Your guy" ... I think that its one of those things which is like an "inside joke" and to others it just seems either pretentious or lame, but its fun! Dale, Eddie and I are very close, and we talk about all sorts of subjects... We even joked one night that our conversations would make for a good radio talk show. We certainly would have our listeners either shocked or giggling!

On Saturday Brett and I are going to New Farm to go walking - I know that I certainly could do with a bit more walking. I am going back to the gym... I might as well use the membership while its there, and no one has offered to take it off my hands, so I still have 10 months of $49.95 to go! May as well use it up! I haven't been to the gym since I was at Telstra. I actually miss Telstra and all of my workmates there! I never see any of them though, and of course no one keeps in contact, but I guess thats just the way that it goes sometimes.

Work at Communities is going really well. I'm working in the job that is currently vacant, and so I am working on my application for it. I reckon that I have a pretty good chance of getting it because everyone there seems very happy with my work. Everyone that I work with is so friendly and helpful and I really enjoy working there. Today I didn't feel well, but still wanted to go into work because I enjoy the social aspect of it all... Plus I had nearly 6 weeks where I was sitting at home doing nothing and I don't think I ever want to sit at home bored again, not when I could be earning money doing something that I love. I mean yeah I am the shit kicker, but people rely on me to show them things... like today Paige asked me to help her with a document she said had "gremlins." All that was wrong with it, were the margins were all out of whack, and so was all the formatting for the bullet points. It took me a few minutes to fix it all up and she thought I was a genius. I sometimes wonder how someone who has so much to do with Microsoft Word could not know how to do simple alterations to documents, but at the same time I was just happy to help. Paige is no longer nasty to me, she is just... abrupt and I think that most of the time she doesn't even realise that she is being that way, or that I view her that way. I think its simply a communication thing. And I have always thought that I could communicate to anyone, anytime, but this proves that yes, even I, have communication hurdles to overcome! Thats what life is all about though - learning.

Well I'd better go, I've written half a novel now. But at least all of my friends can't say that I haven't updated my journal in a while. I haven't written much about my weight loss in here, but I promise there will be more good news to report come Saturday! I am still going so very well, and I am so proud of all of my work. I will post a picture here that I took last Saturday! Everyone says that I look so thin in this photo - well watch this space! I am going to keep shrinking and shrinking!! Right down to 70kg, where I can wear anything that I want, and I will feel fabulous.

I am woman, hear me roar.

xoxo Kerri

2005-05-07T20:12:00.000+10:00

Taken Saturday 7th May 2005

20.5kg GONE FOREVER!!!

2005-05-07T09:50:00.000+10:00

Yay! I reached the 20kg mark!!!!!!!!!!!!! now only 67kg to go!!!!!!!!! I can see the light! I had to buy a new pair of pants for work... and they are still a little bit too big, but I had to buy them like that for my oversized left leg. Even with the stocking its still bigger than my right. Soon it won't be though!

Work is going great... they all love me there, and I try to bring some colour into the boring Government office environment. Everything is black in white. I have had to design folders and have made them complete with pretty pictures and I have made visual displays of colourful things as well. Life is so much prettier in colour. (especially pink!) I am hoping that I stay at Dept of Communities for a while, I really love it there. All of the people are great, and really friendly and don't mind showing me things because I'm new. I'm getting used to working with such important people too - at the beginning I was instructing Directors to do things, instead of their executive assistants! I have never worked in an environment where other people are so many levels above me...

Going to the movies today to see Kingdom of Heaven with Huw... he's such a sweetie :) I love going to the movies, no matter the movie. I love the cinema experience.

Not much else to report, except for my good news! :)

Luv Kerri xoxo SW 157.5 CW 137 GW 70

None of my clothes fit!!!

2005-05-03T07:02:00.000+10:00

This morning while getting dressed for work - and mind you its FREEZING!!!! - I was putting on a pair of pants. They were just a pair of blue pinstripe pants, and a few months ago were a bit tight. Today they looked like clown pants. I couldn't even THINK of wearing them!

So I tried on another pair of black pants that I haven't been able to wear in years, but they were TOO BIG! I couldn't even wear them, they looked too baggy. So I tried on another pair of pants, they are WAY too big. I had to roll down the top of the pants, but even then the crotch of the pants hung down way too far!!! I now have no pants to wear to work - I think I might have to buy a few pairs of cheap ones to last me the winter or I'll freeze!!! I think I'd be a size 22 now, instead of a size 26...

I had to settle with wearing a skirt today, which of course is too big as well. The waistline is very very loose. Comfortable though, and it doesn't look like I'm wearing a sack. I wish it were okay to wear denim to work because I don't have anything left!!!

This feels great, and I am so happy to see VISIBLE results... but I don't have anything to wear!!!

xoxo Kerri

1 kilo down!!

2005-05-01T00:30:00.000+10:00

Hewwo folks, just a quick update... but I have lost 1 more kilo. Not as much as I like... I'm going out tomorrow to Sunday Funday at the Beat and will be dancing, to hopefully burn off a billion calories!

Total lost is 18.5kg!

Luv Kerri xoxo

On being the shitkicker...

2005-04-28T18:18:00.000+10:00

Yesterday was my first day at the Department of Communities - Rural and Regional. My job is Admin Officer. I work for the Senior Admin Officer and also a few directors. Photocopying, filing, faxing, sorting etc - you name it, I do it! They are a lovely bunch of people and are so grateful at all of the help that I am giving them. I have my own desk and its in a good location in the city - close to the mall!! :)

After work I had a date! ;) His name is Huw (pronounced Hugh) and we ended up at the Belgian Beer Cafe... its a really nice place except that I don't like beer so I had champers instead! Only a couple because of my diet... I don't even think that they sold water there, so thats my excuse, and I'm sticking by it!

This morning I had a bit of a hangover - its bound to happen with me, because I don't drink very often! It didn't interfere with my day though and I still got alot of stuff done at work. I drink my shakes at work now, its easier. I just take my little shaker and the packet and drink it when I get a spare minute - which is usually a bit of a challenge!

Met one lady who wasn't there yesterday - Paige, and she is a total bitch! She just never smiles and barks orders at you. She asked me to put labels on a few urgent letters, but she didn't say what to do with them, so I assumed (since she put them in normal postage-paid envelopes) that she wanted them put in the OUT box... well, she came to me and barked: "Where are those letters I asked you to do?!" I am not used to being spoken to like that, especially not in a corporate environment... I just told her what I did with them, and she rolls her eyes, "Noooo youre not meant to POST them! The meeting is in an HOUR!" Paige then barked two addresses at me, and then said I had to hand deliver the letters, which mean going on a little trip of the Brisbane CBD. Arghhhh, she was so bitchy I felt like saying "Do it yourself, you stupid trollop!" But then, I didn't, because I'm "professional"!!

Tomorrow is Friday and I must say, I have been really busy these last two days, and its a good change, but I can't wait for the weekend, when I can loll around and relax and not have to get up at the crack of dawn! :P Saturday is my weigh-in day... I've been pretty busy lately, and I do not sit still at work, so I think that I would have lost another 1 or 2 kg!

Luv Kerri xoxo

What a lovely start to the long weekend!

2005-04-23T17:18:00.000+10:00

Last night Eddie, Dale and I watched The Grudge. I screamed in the first scene of the movie - it was really spooky but it started to get really predictable as the movie went on. I enjoyed it though. Then afterwards we went for a walk along the river and the boys were really jumpy. I wasn't... all I could think about was boys boys boys!!! hehe Scary movies about the paranormal don't usually scare me because I am not a believer of the paranormal... its just too unbelieveable.

Today Dale and I went to the valley, had a perve, a bit of a browse at the markets. We saw Cindy, she was at her stall. She will help sell my clothes when I am ready to sell them all. Isn't that cool? We'll do a deal of course, so I cover some of her stall fee. Cindy is great, she just talks and talks and talks! I'd have to say she's more of a fag hag than me...

Tonight I don't know what I am doing. I borrowed Super Size Me from Eddie and I have been wondering what the movie will be like. I might watch that tonight, but I'll probably end up never wanting Maccas again! Oh well, no loss there.

Tomorrow hopefully catching up with my friend Ra, I haven't seen her in ages!
xoxo Kerri

2005-04-22T14:52:00.000+10:00

My sexy stocking!

My stocking!

2005-04-22T14:48:00.000+10:00

Well as most of you know, I have problems with my left leg. I have chronic venous insufficiency (phlebitis) and so I have to wear a compression stocking during the day. I just picked it up today... Doesn't it look sexy!!! :P

xoxo Kerri

The most hurtful txt I've ever received...

2005-04-22T11:59:00.000+10:00

This came after we'd finished fighting and he'd hung up on me. The woman I'd caused harm is his mother... how? Because I rang his house once (without even thinking, I must admit, I was upset and wanted to work it out) He answered the phone: "DONT EVER CALL MY F*CKING HOUSE AGAIN YOU FAT WHORE, YOU KNOW MY SITUATION! IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME CALL ME ON THE MOBILE" and then he hung up on me... I didn't bother calling him back. What would be the point? Then I got this txt...

"Youre not worth shit, by the way, when youre online, tell guys the truth - youre not voluptuous, youre obese and shallow and couldn't give a f*ck about a woman who tonight you've caused harm... Selfish to the bitter end."

How could these be words of a guy claiming that he loves me just a few hours ago before things got nasty??!

I am also thinking... his ex who has a child with him, will NEVER let him see either of them. EVER. And has put a DVO against him. He told me he was never abusive to her... but how can I trust that now? Why would an ex put a DVO against him just because he was an alcoholic? Never occured to me to think that much about it before, but you can bet its riding on top of my mind right now... And I'll tell you what. If he comes near me in that sort of way, there will be TWO DVO's against him.

Sorry for ranting again... I guess I needed to tell everyone what a creep he is and how much I am starting to resent him... *sigh*

Why me?

2005-04-22T11:35:00.000+10:00

I seem to be people's emotional punching bag. Since when do I stand for that sh*t?! Chris and I had a massive fight last night... but he's my EX! I don't HAVE to put up with his rubbish, just like he doesn't have to put up with mine.

It all began when he found my profile on a dating line and rang me and asked why couldn't he be my Mr Wonderful... he then tried to figure out exactly what was wrong with him and stuff... I mean omg! Get over it! Its over!!

Yeah I know he's under a lot of pressure, but when that pressure boils, I always seem to cop the short end of the stick from him - he's abusive - swears and yells at me - and says things just to be hurtful. I could never treat anyone like that, I don't say hurtful things, even if I'm angry. And the reason the things he said hurt so much is because I thought he was someone who cared for me, and I'll always care about him. The thing that sucks the much is that no matter how much he hurts me, I'll always care for him... but will I end up resenting him? Did I hurt him that much by breaking up with him that he's so bitter and twisted now? He was the one who agreed with me when I said things weren't working!

At the beginning of the conversation last night before things got ugly, he made up some shit about how he slept with one of his friends like he was waiting for my reaction... this was before he got abusive and we were fighting. I was happy for him, that he was happy and was moving on... But the way he went on about it, I could tell he was lying. He asked if I were jealous, and I admitted yes I was a little bit jealous but thats normal because of the way that I felt for him and the way that I'll always feel for him.

From there it went downhill. He got all confused. He asked me if I were still in love WITH him or just that I love him. I asked him whats the difference? I can't stand mind games and he seems to be really good at them. I just said that I love him but even though there was something really special, it kind of slipped away when I couldn't see him. Then he turned around and nastily said "well sorry that I can't be at my beck and call whenever you selfishly want me!"... No matter what I said, he always took it the wrong way and turned it around to hurt me.

I don't put up with that, I won't and can't... a few months ago when we were together, we had a massive fight over the phone and he swore at me and yelled at me, and I got really scared. It made me think what would happen if we were together, would he hit me? Would he lose his cool with me? I don't think I ever want to be around him when he's in that type of mood because I will NOT be a victim of abuse. Anyway last night I felt scared again. The way he was yelling and swearing and saying nasty things, like criticising my size and stuff, I felt scared. I didn't understand, at the beginning of the conversation he was saying how much he loved me, and how he still cared for me and would always love me, and he thought I was the one.. then later on he's abusing me like he hates me.... He still has my house key (cos we haven't met up to exchange stuff that we have of each others) and I was actually scared. I didn't know what would happen. Would he come over, fight with me again and hit me? He seems to take things I say the wrong way when he's emotional and stressed, and he jumps to his own conclusions.

I'm not saying I'm perfect - sometimes I'm irrational and emotional too but I have never spoken to him like that.

After I decided it was enough of his games and his abusing me I decided to go to bed (this is after a few calls back, hanging up on his part, billions of text messages). But I couldn't rest with this still happening. I called him back and he answered after the millionth ring, saying that his brother and sister were there, and that his mum was having real trouble breathing and the ambos were there and stuff... I didn't believe him, I knew he was only trying to put guilt and blame back on me... but I wanted him to calm down and apologise... I didn't say so... I just said that I'm here if you want to talk, I'll always be here etc etc etc.... WHY did I bother ringing him back? I guess a part of me didn't want him to stay that hurtful and angry at me. I didn't want him to come after me and hit me or continue fighting with me. It was the exactly the same last time - he got hurt, angry and emotional, took it out on me and then the next day was horribly apologetic. I'm expecting some sort of phone call from him today apologising and excusing the way he behaved.

Well last time I went back to him and said "no no thats ok you have a lot on your plate" but this time its different.

1. I will never consider going back to him, and it will take time for me to even trust him as a friend, to know he'll never treat me like that again.
2. I will not accept his stupid apology - NOTHING excuses the way he acted, in my opinion.
3. I want my house key back again so that I can feel safe. I will not be a victim and I will not live in fear, not for anyone.
4. I KNOW I deserve better than him so I will not go back to him accepting his stupid apology - if he acts like this when we ARENT together you can imagine how he'll act in the future over stupid little things when he's upset or stressed out.
5. I WILL not surround myself with people who say they care, and then in the next 10 mins, demonstrate that they really really really do not care for me at all.

Argh! I just needed to get that off my chest... I'm sorry... I know I ranted but I feel a little bit better now.

xoxo Kerri

Ps. I hope he doesn't read this... I mean, he doesn't have the net, so thats not likely... but even if you are reading this Chris, I hope you have read all of it, and understand how I felt, and why I will not accept this sort of treatment from you, OR anyone, ever. I value myself much more than that.

On walking with friends

2005-04-20T21:15:00.000+10:00

I just came back from the best walk. Eddie, Dale and I went for a walk along the pontoon at New Farm and followed it right around to the Riverside Centre in the city. It was such lovely weather - a bit on the chilly side but it was great :)

It always makes the walk more enjoyable to go walking with someone else, so that you can talk along the way... The nights that I don't have anyone to go walking with I ride my exercise bike. Mum and I did a lot of walking when I was up in Hervey Bay, usually along the Esplanade. Aside from the great exercise, Mum and I got to spend quality time together, talking.

Eddie and Dale said that they could definitely tell the difference in me, in my face the most. Its great when other people notice :D All of my clothes are loose on me as well! It won't be long before I will have to start altering them or buying really cheap stuff for the interim. Ooh just think of all the nice stuff that I will be able to wear :D

xoxo Kerri

Disappointed with myself...

2005-04-18T13:02:00.000+10:00

Well last night I cheated. The first time in nearly 6 weeks, and I cheated. I ate 1 kebab (with pork, kabana and bacon on it) and 4 Bacardi Breezers, and after the kebab I felt really sick. I wasn't going to have the kebab, I let myself have the Bacardi Breezers as a treat because I haven't had a drink in months... but the kebab was one step over the line, and I feel really disappointed in myself. I am going for an extra long walk tonight to work off my naughtiness.

I'm feeling kinda down and out today, but I am going over to visit with friends soon so that should cheer me up, I hope.

xKerri

Kerri Jumps for Joy!!!

2005-04-17T12:08:00.000+10:00

Hewwo :D Well I weighed myself this morning - I am down to 140.1 kg!! Thats 17.5kg lost in 5 weeks. This is the start of my 6th week. I am sooo sooo sooooo happy! Not long to go til it is 20kg lost! I wonder how different I will feel then? I notice lots of difference in my body now, I don't seem to struggle as much and ALL of my clothes are now too loose!! It feels GREAT!!!

*does a little skinny dance*

Love Kerri xoxo SW 157.5 CW 140.1 GW 70

Temptations...

2005-04-14T06:33:00.000+10:00

I am still going well with my diet, despite being surrounded with beautiful food everyday - Dad was eating prawns yesterday and I soooo wanted one, but I resisted. I distracted myself with my dinner shake! Everyday I find myself with temptation but I always resist. I think I am driving myself crazy cos I am not letting myself have all these things. I only have 7 more weeks and then I am allowed to go back to real food.

After all of the hard work that I have done, I definitely know that I will not go back to eating crap - I enjoy my vegies and so I will just add a serve of lean grilled meat (chicken or fish) to them as my light dinner. I also can't wait to eat some sushi... its what I miss the most. You can buy make-at-home sushi packs from Woolies now! I will have to try one of those!

Late to bed, early to rise, makes Kerri not a good morning surprise!! I woke up at 5.30am this morning, and I watched the American news programs... I still prefer the Australian ones. I don't know why I woke up so early.

I'm worried about Chris at the moment, his mum is again in hospital and he's feeling low now that we aren't together. He sent me an sms last night saying that he's sorry he was such a jerk and that I deserve better, and that I am probably beating them off with a big stick... hmmm its not like that at all. Just cos he and I didn't work out doesn't mean I'm out there right away looking for someone else... I still care for him and I hope we continue to be friends, so I'll always be there for him when he's feeling low. I'll give him a quick ring today to make sure he's okay. (In the past I would have gone back to him because I felt responsible for him feeling low... but I have learnt that I can't sacrifice my own happiness for others.)

Alot of people around me are having relationship problems, and they always turn to me for a shoulder to cry on or a good ear... which I never turn down to whoever comes to me... but what is wrong with the world today? Why can't it all be like a fairytale? I think reality sucks :P

Well today I am doing some housework for Mum, and probably catching up with El and Mon ... Its good to be back in the bay... Many times I think it'd be nice to move back here but my home is Brisbane, and soon enough I will be able to get back to work, and back on track. In fact as soon as I have my stocking and I get used to it, I am going to get back into the workforce. I don't like being as poor as a church mouse, its no fun! Show me the MONEY!!!!! :)

Love Kerri xoxo

Ps. I haven't weighed myself anymore... its tempting but I want to try and stick to my own scales at home. Think of the surprise when I get home next week and I am down heaps!!! Cos despite the car I have on loan while I'm here, I have been more active. No sitting on the computer all day playing the Sims :P

No more boredom!

2005-04-11T22:03:00.000+10:00

Hewwo all :) I write to you from my parents' computer in their office. I have had a pretty busy day! Lizzy and Gav, friends of ours, lent me their spare green Mitsubishi Colt! :) Its great, because I get to buzz myself around to see my friends, and my brother in his new house.

I am so glad that I have come up here, I'm having a great time! Mum and I did a 3km walk from my brother's new house to here last night - it was very long, took us an hour, but a good walk and of course good for the ole' ticker!!

I was very tired tonight - such a busy day and I went to bed at 2.30am this morning... so I really didn't feel like going for my walk! But I did anyway, because I needed to. My brother Mat and I went for a walk along the Esplanade with his very adorable but very stupid puppy, Jimmy. He had never been taken on a walk before so he was very excited and kept running all over the place, nearly tripping me over! I met Lil El's puppy, Peppi today also - he is so CUTE! You pick him up and he licks you, and he has so much energy!

Well I am sleeping in tomorrow morning and I don't really know what else I will be doing during the day - I was meant to go to water aerobics but I really can't afford to spend the money. Walking is great exercise AND its free :) I'm sure the girls will understand and maybe I can do it next time.

Josef, my ex, and Monica's boyfriend, is coming up on Saturday and we are all having a bbq, El included of course. She is the founder of "The Moo" our special little group that we formed a few years ago for a laugh, when we drove around and did silly things... I don't think that would have changed much - we are all very fun people... It will be great to catch up, and have everyone together in the same spot!!! :D

Well I must go and get myself ready for bed, it is getting late, and when I get tired, I get grumpy... and no one likes a grumpy Kerri :P

xoxo Kerri

Ps. I looked at the scales that my parents have here - they are digital ones, and I have NEVER been able to use them because it wouldn't register my weight. It does now! And 1.5kg lighter!! But yes I know, I should only go by my scales at home but that is really really good :D

OH!!! Double Ps. I caught up with my friend Jume today who was originally the same size as I was when I started. I haven't seen her in absolutely AGES but today I saw her FIFTY KILOS lighter!!!! Great inspiration, and of course she feels bloody marvellous! That will be me soon too!!! Soon this "obesity epidemic" will be over and the world will all be slim jims and smiley faces...

So I'm sitting here bored on a Saturday night...

2005-04-09T19:49:00.000+10:00

In the past, say a month ago before I started Optifast I would have been sitting here gorging on something high in fat and comfort, to ease my boredom. And I think right now, its driving me crazy that I am not allowing myself to do that. So I am going a little bit stir-crazy and its like I don't know what to do with myself.

So I am trying to distract myself with writing these feelings down, and to say the least I am very proud that I am not giving in to myself when this could be considered a rather weak moment. Its times like these that I am glad that I don't have any bread or chocolate lying around the house cos I would definitely be weak enough to give in to that sort of thing. Its sad isn't it? Well its been a lifelong problem, I guess its not just going to go away overnight.

I am trying to find joy in other things though - talking to friends whether it be on the net or on the phone (if I can't see them in person) , photography, writing, reading and posting on different forums. Theres not all that much to do when youre home alone on a Saturday night, especially when theres nothing much more to watch on tv than the wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla.

I've never been that interested in the Royals, I mean yeah Prince William is hot but thats as far as it goes for me. I never get too wrapped up in any sort of celebrity - I respect the fact that they have their private lives... even though if something like NW or Who has a fascinating story about a celeb, I always read it... ;) Does that make me a hypocrite? Well I like to read about celebrities and their weight losses or gains. I find Kirstey Alleys weight loss stories interesting - but its also sad that they have centred in on her personal struggle so much... If I were famous (ha!) I wouldn't want that much attention on something like my weight, obviously because I am very insecure about it.

I won't be insecure about it for long though! I will get to a point where I am totally happy with my body, and peoples opinions or comments won't bother me one iota, because I'll finally be happy. I know that when I get down to my 70kg there will still be people who will not treat me nicely, but thats just life. I am sick of trying to please others - its now time to please myself. The only reason why I am bothered so much about what people think or say is because its the truth, and like they say, the truth hurts.

The truth won't hurt when I am 70kg cos thats where I will want to be, and thats where I will feel comfortable in my own skin. I have seen on the cover of Cosmopolitan this month: "Body Confidence - At Any Size" and while its good for Cosmo to put such an uplifting article in their magazine, maybe it is irresponsible of Cosmo to just assume that everyone who isn't happy with their image is just 2 or 3 kilos overweight... Its when the weight actually brings down all the other areas of your life that it is really a problem. Magazines like Cosmo or Cleo aren't really addressing this "obesity epidemic" that I think we are going through. Its not their job no, and the article is a great one for those who have a shocking body image. I agree with that. But there are lots of young women out there who are obese, just like myself, who need help... but Cosmo seems to only cater to the women who have healthy bodies and just aren't happy with them... Does that make sense? I feel like I'm rambling here... Would it be the same if it were normal to be obese? People would come out more about it confessing their obesity and then the magazines would cover it more. Then again magazines which are centrally focussed on fashion and gossip aren't really going to be the best source of information when it comes to support on obesity anyway... Hmmm maybe I am rambling! Leave a comment on how you feel about this, because I want to know if I'm rambling or making SOME sort of logical sense :)

Lucky I have this online journal, cos the poor friend I'd be talking to about this would probably have fallen asleep right now! hehe...

You know the most amazing thing throughout the whole time I have been on Optifast? I haven't lost my motivation or determination ONCE and that is something that really astounds me. Maybe it is MY time to do this now... the right time. Maybe all those years where I have tried weird and expensive diets was a wasted exercise because I just wasn't READY. Mentally and physically I am ready to do this, and I have put everything that I have got into this and I am succeeding. My hard work is paying off, and theres not one thing that will stop me. Or one thing that will have me falling back into my old ways.

I mean in the past boredom meant food. So if I didn't have the particular comfort food that I was craving, I'd go out and get it. And right now, I have the $$$ spare to go and get the food that I would have wanted in the past. I live right across the road from a McDonalds, and down the road from a Hungry Jacks... but I know that doing that would undo all of the hard work that I have already put in! And I know that my body is totally free of fat, and my arteries must be doing happy dances... so theres no way I want to abuse my body like that again. However though I still want something icecreamy or something! Isn't that stupid? My body says noooooo you can't do this to yourself anymore, and my head up there is saying but I wannnntttt it!!! But little by little I can feel my brain starting to cooperate with my body, and it does feel excellent! It feels like I have beaten "The Fat War!" But any weak moments and I COULD slip back into my old ways.

So how have I managed not to slip back into those old destructive habits? Distraction!!!! One day I was out and I really really craved sushi. I had the money to buy the sushi and even justified that a bit of seaweed and rice couldn't be bad for me, so why not. But I didn't even allow myself to get close! I gave myself a task to do... I wanted to find some black writing paper, and they didn't have it at any newsagents or supermarkets or anything... hehe so by distracting myself I have been able to ward off those cravings. Also preparation - I won't go out to dinner with friends if I know there isn't going to be a garden salad that I can eat. A friend is organising a dinner in a few weeks time, and I told him that it has to be somewhere that you can get a normal garden salad with no dressings. And also noticing times when I am at my weakest is helpful too because then I can say to myself that at those times, I need to be doing something which is so busy that it doesn't allow me to give in to temptations.

I will get there, I know I can do it. :) I have the will, and I have the way!
xoxo Kerri

Another 2kg down!!! :D

2005-04-09T10:12:00.000+10:00

I'm now 143kg!! Yay!!! I am so happy! So in 4weeks I have lost 14.5kg! Thats fantastic. Another 5.5kg to go and then I would have lost 20kg! Isn't that amazing!!! I didn't think I'd lose much more this week because I have my period... but to my surprise, I am down still! :D I am so happy!

Then I guess there would be another 5 or 6 wks til I lose another 20kg... This is going to be quicker than any Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig progress!! :D

*jumps for joy*

xoxo Kerri SW 157.5 CW 143 GW 70

My turning point...

2005-04-08T16:11:00.000+10:00

I am always reading other's stories about what was their turning point to losing weight. Mine was my mum saying to me one day: "Maybe you just will always be big."

That turned me around - I didn't want to be big for the rest of my life! That was my turning point. It only ever takes one person in your life to say something that makes you think differently.

xoxo Kerri

Happy happy joy joy!!

2005-04-07T17:22:00.001+10:00

See the two photos below? Can you see the difference? I definitely can! :D I am so happy!

xoxo Kerri

Btw, I weighed myself this morning and its 13.5kg lost so far, not 12.5!!! :D

Before I started Optifast...

2005-04-07T17:22:00.000+10:00

Me 3 weeks and 12.5kg lighter!

2005-04-07T17:18:00.001+10:00

Feeling happy :)

2005-04-06T22:19:00.000+10:00

I had a lovely day, I met up with Adrian, one of my friends from Sydney who is visiting this week. We had coffee at Carindale and then went into the city.

I treated myself to a small cappucino today on skim milk from Gloria Jeans... I know I'm not meant to have milk, but I thought that the skim milk could replace my vegies today. I miss my cappucinos... I felt a bit guilty but I have spoken to Optifast and they said that it shouldn't matter too much. But thats the only thing that I have done... and thats like a once in a while treat too, not everyday.

xoxo Kerri

So what did I do today?

2005-04-05T22:00:00.000+10:00

I woke up at 7am, which is a big change from the near midday I have been getting up! I got up, had breakfast, and then went off to the city. I had an appointment with a Centrelink doctor to determine whether I'm eligible for Disability Pension. It doesn't really matter if I'm not because I'll still be getting a benefit until I'm ready to return to work.

The appointment was with a stern very boring looking doctor who didn't make much small talk. It was so much different than seeing my regular GP, less friendly. After that I went to woolies to get some vegies. I now love eggplant! You have to put loads of salt on it before you cook the eggplant because then it doesn't have such a bitter taste. People have asked me: what does eggplant taste like - I asked this of people before I'd tried it. Its a very hard thing to describe - but I guess its sort of like the consistency of zucchini, except the purple skin is crunchier than the flesh... as for the actual taste... its got a weird taste... I don't know how to describe it... why don't you just buy one and see. You can get small eggplants that are the Asian variety and are usually a lot cheaper.

So after buying my vegies, I went and had a browse in Crazy Clarks. If I see anything that I like, its all cheap so theres no danger. I didn't buy anything though... but then I had a massive craving for sushi! I thought "how bad can a bit of seaweed and rice be?" Then I remembered that once I allow myself to cheat ONCE, it will be like the floodgates opening! So I hot-footed it out of the shopping centre, and went off in search for some black paper - I have coloured metallic pens and I want to write a letter with it. I didn't find any black paper afterall but at least I was distracted from sushi.

I got home and played The Sims! I am soooo loving it. I can't wait until I get to try one of the expansion packs. But yeah I didn't finish playing til about 8pm - I can get so lost in that game - and thats when I had my steamed vegies, and then went for a walk.

I know that I have changed because I challenge every naughty thought these days, like today with the sushi. And I'm getting more adventurous with vegies - more variety for me! I can only have the low-starch vegies listed in the Optifast brochure but theres quite a few on there that I haven't tried.

My family are now doing Optifast except for my skinny-as-a-racehorse brother. My mum is nearly done and weaning herself off - she has lost 10kg in 3 weeks and she's very happy with fitting back into the jeans she couldn't wear in the last 2 years! My dad and sister, I hear are going well, though Jennifer (sister) has cheated, saying that she doesn't want to starve herself... Its all good...

Me though, this is my FOURTH week and I haven't cheated ONCE! :D *grins proudly*
xoxo Kerri

I feel GOOD!

2005-04-02T19:43:00.000+10:00

Dale and I just went for a really long walk, cos I needed cheering up and I haven't been on a massive walk in a while. :) It was about an hour and a half walk... we walked from New Farm Park to the floating bridge opposite the Story Bridge. It was a great walk and there was plenty of action to perve on as well :)

I burned a lot of fat and was hungry for my shake when I got home. I'm feeling so good cos I am using my body as it was designed to use :)

xoxo Kerri

By the way I'm no longer with Chris... things just weren't working out and we both agreed that it is best to end it... I made us talk about it, so you could say that I broke it off. I was really sad before, hence Dale coming over... Now I'm numb... So I don't know how I feel. But I have not let this affect my diet! No way! In the past I would have used this as an excuse to emotional-eat but not anymore! I have definitely changed as a person. Yay :)